IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

If a product is good and meet customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising it is unneccessary. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#product #customer #people #unneccessary
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The debate over whether
the
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apply
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advertising is unnecessary if the goods meet customer needs or not is a prominent one. In my point of view, I believe it is an essential tool that
brands
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 should apply in today's world.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons to support my statement.
To begin
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 with, an advertisement is one of the best promotional tools in the world. It is
the
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a
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 way to raise awareness and visibility to
customers
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 that
brands
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 are still unreached. Having a handful of good products without people realizing the existence of the
brands
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 is useless.
Therefore
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, advertisements should be promoted in
order
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 to tell people
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brands’
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about brands’
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 existence
as well as
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 the
products
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product's
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 description without hyping.
In addition
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,
high quality
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high-quality
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 advertisement influences brand identity. With ads spreading all over
the
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televisions and social media, the product and
brands
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 will be memorized and create a permanent customer base, ensuring a continuous and evolving connection Even
the
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global
brands
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 with a range of
customers
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such
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 as Chanel need them in
order
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 to convey their message on products and collections to their
customers
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.
Furthermore
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, product presenters are
also
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 crucial in
order
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 to drag a diverse customer segment, with Korean idols being one of the most picked as brand ambassadors. In conclusion,
while
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 the quality of goods is crucial in
order
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 to keep continuous purchases of
the
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apply
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customers
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, I disagree that advertising is unnecessary and believe that it is crucial to promote
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a brands
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brands
Change noun form
brand's
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 identity, visibility and evolving connection with its
customers
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by bellchatpavee on

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task achievement
Your response is thorough and addresses the prompt effectively. Each paragraph has a clear focus that supports the thesis statement. However, you could strengthen the argument by providing more specific examples or data that illustrate the effectiveness of advertising in building brand identity and visibility.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and the use of transitional phrases helps maintain cohesion. To improve further, you could ensure that each main point is explicitly tied back to the central argument, reinforcing the essay's overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that neatly wrap up the argument. This enhances readability and makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The discussion on the significance of advertisement in establishing brand identity and maintaining customer relationships is well-articulated and supports the main argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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