IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

If a product is good and meet customer needs,then people will buy it. So advertising it is unneccessary. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#product #customer #people #unneccessary
The debate over whether
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advertising is unnecessary if the goods meet customer needs or not is a prominent one. In my point of view, I believe it is an essential tool that
brands
 should apply in today's world.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons to support my statement.
To begin
 with, an advertisement is one of the best promotional tools in the world. It is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 way to raise awareness and visibility to
customers
 that
brands
 are still unreached. Having a handful of good products without people realizing the existence of the
brands
 is useless.
Therefore
, advertisements should be promoted in
order
 to tell people
brands’
Change preposition
about brands’
show examples
 existence
as well as
 the
products
Change noun form
product's
show examples
 description without hyping.
In addition
,
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
 advertisement influences brand identity. With ads spreading all over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
televisions and social media, the product and
brands
 will be memorized and create a permanent customer base, ensuring a continuous and evolving connection Even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global
brands
 with a range of
customers
such
 as Chanel need them in
order
 to convey their message on products and collections to their
customers
.
Furthermore
, product presenters are
also
 crucial in
order
 to drag a diverse customer segment, with Korean idols being one of the most picked as brand ambassadors. In conclusion,
while
 the quality of goods is crucial in
order
 to keep continuous purchases of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
customers
, I disagree that advertising is unnecessary and believe that it is crucial to promote
Correct article usage
a brands
show examples
brands
Change noun form
brand's
show examples
 identity, visibility and evolving connection with its
customers
.
Submitted by bellchatpavee on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your response is thorough and addresses the prompt effectively. Each paragraph has a clear focus that supports the thesis statement. However, you could strengthen the argument by providing more specific examples or data that illustrate the effectiveness of advertising in building brand identity and visibility.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph flows logically from one to the next, and the use of transitional phrases helps maintain cohesion. To improve further, you could ensure that each main point is explicitly tied back to the central argument, reinforcing the essay's overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that neatly wrap up the argument. This enhances readability and makes the essay easy to follow.
task achievement
The discussion on the significance of advertisement in establishing brand identity and maintaining customer relationships is well-articulated and supports the main argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: