IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural/and becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#three #regions #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The pie chart explains several reasons
of
Change preposition
for
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unproductive
Add an article
the unproductive
an unproductive
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issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 in
agricultural
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the agricultural
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 sector
while
 the table elaborates how these causes affected three regions during
1990s
Change the article
the 1990s
show examples
.
Overall
, there are three main causes of
land
 degradation which had the biggest
impact
 on Europe's
land
. Looking at the table,
over grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
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 became the main cause of
degradated
Correct your spelling
degraded
degradation
land
 with more than a third. The main cause was followed by deforestation and
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation
show examples
,
with
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apply
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contributing
for
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apply
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almost 60% combined.
Moreover
, if looking
the
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at the
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 detail in some regions, Europe had the biggest
impact
 on unproductive
land
 with almost a quarter of their
land
. The root cause of
this
 issue in Europe was mainly
due to
 deforestation, contributing
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 almost 10%.
Then
, the second largest
impact
 of degraded
land
 was
oceania
Change the capitalization
Oceania
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 with 13% of their
land
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
least
Correct article usage
the least
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 productive. They mainly had an issue with
over grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
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 but had no problem with
over cultivation
Add a hyphen
over-cultivation
show examples
.
Lastly
, the region which had the least
impact
 was
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
North America with merely 5% of their
land
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not productive.
Submitted by bhaswarawira on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words land, impact with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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