It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #offer #situation

It is

aruged

Correct your spelling

argued

that the growing number of

violence

teenager

Replace the word

teenage

show examples

offance

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offences

is caused by the media. The main problem with

this

issue is that adolescence

freequantily

Correct your spelling

frequently

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

video

games

and it can

be solve

Change the verb form

be solved

show examples

through

educations

Fix the agreement mistake

education

show examples

and

friendly

Correct article usage

a friendly

show examples

atmosphare

Correct your spelling

atmosphere

Then

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The

show examples

main

disadvanges

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disadvantage

increaging

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increasing

violence

Add an article

a teenager

show examples

teenager

Fix the agreement mistake

teenagers

show examples

is that they are playing video

games

which are based on crime and

fight

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fighting

show examples

This

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

when these young people

indulage

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indulge

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

activites

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activities

activity

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

agression

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aggression

when they

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

thier

Correct your spelling

their

games

becasue

Correct your spelling

because

they want to win the

games

. Another

reasion

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reason

, when they face problems in real life they are confused and not able to

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

right

desision

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decision

. They want to get it at any cost or

consequance

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consequence

thay

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they

might

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

fase

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face

in future.

For Example

, in the USA, State

department

Capitalize word

Department

show examples

justisc

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Justice

studies

shown

Add a missing verb

have shown

show examples

that crime increased

fifity

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fifteen

persent

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per cent because

becasue

violence

Replace the word

violent

show examples

games

. The

vible

Correct your spelling

vital

solutions

Fix the agreement mistake

solution

show examples

for

this

issue is that parents have to watch

thier

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their

children

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children's

show examples

beheviouer

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behaviour

and take

helps

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help

bits of help

show examples

from the consular if they see any change

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show examples

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

beheviour

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behaviour

and they have to provide

Correct article usage

a firendly

show examples

firendly atmosphare

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friendly atmosphere

at home.

Furthermore

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

eductions

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education

show examples

can

be solve

Change the verb form

solve

show examples

this

problem if they get

Correct your spelling

guidance

guidenc

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guidance

from their teacher at school and they know what is right and wrong and discuss

Correct pronoun usage

it with

show examples

with

Correct pronoun usage

it with

show examples

totuters

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teachers

For instance

recent

Correct article usage

a recent

show examples

survey

conduct

Wrong verb form

conducted

show examples

by the

unversity

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university

oxfood

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Oxfood

show examples

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

found crime is

increaseing

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increasing because

becasue

Change preposition

apply

show examples

teenagers can not

contral

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control

their emotions when they

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

games

. In conclusion,

although

crimes are increasing in

juvinal

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juveniles

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

be control

Change the verb form

be controlled

show examples

through

awaerness

Correct your spelling

awareness

and

gudience

Correct your spelling

guidance

. The parents

shoud

Correct your spelling

should

closely watch

thier

Correct your spelling

their

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

beheviour

Correct your spelling

behaviour

and teachers have to teach about what

are

Change the verb form

show examples

the

consequance

Correct your spelling

consequences

consequence

when they offend.

Submitted by parvinkumar0794 on Sun Sep 22 2024

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
80Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Your opinion

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Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

in some countries, people are hiring a personal fitness trainer rather than playing sports or doing exercise classess what are the reason for this is this a positive or negative develpment

In many countries, parents are deciding to have children later in their lives. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer. IELTS Essay Sample Answer (1)