It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

#crime #violence #media #offer #situation

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It is

aruged

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argued

that the growing number of

violence

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teenager

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teenage

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offance

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offences

is caused by the media. The main problem with

this

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issue is that adolescence

freequantily

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frequently

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violence

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violent

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video

games

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and it can

be solve

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be solved

show examples

through

educations

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education

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and

friendly

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a friendly

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atmosphare

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atmosphere

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Then

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The

show examples

main

disadvanges

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disadvantage

increaging

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increasing

violence

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Add an article

a teenager

show examples

teenager

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teenagers

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is that they are playing video

games

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which are based on crime and

fight

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fighting

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This

Linking Words

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becasue

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because

when these young people

indulage

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indulge

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this

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these

show examples

activites

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activities

activity

create

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creates

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agression

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aggression

when they

lost

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lose

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thier

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their

games

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becasue

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because

they want to win the

games

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. Another

reasion

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reason

, when they face problems in real life they are confused and not able to

take

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make

show examples

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the

show examples

right

desision

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decision

. They want to get it at any cost or

consequance

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consequence

thay

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they

might

have

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apply

show examples

fase

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face

in future.

For Example

Linking Words

, in the USA, State

department

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Department

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justisc

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Justice

studies

shown

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have shown

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that crime increased

fifity

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fifteen

persent

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per cent because

becasue

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violence

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violent

show examples

games

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. The

vible

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vital

solutions

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solution

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for

this

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issue is that parents have to watch

thier

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their

children

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children's

show examples

beheviouer

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behaviour

and take

helps

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help

bits of help

show examples

from the consular if they see any change

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show examples

child

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child's

show examples

beheviour

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behaviour

and they have to provide

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a firendly

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firendly atmosphare

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friendly atmosphere

at home.

Furthermore

Linking Words

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the right

show examples

right

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the right

show examples

eductions

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education

show examples

can

be solve

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solve

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem if they get

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guidance

guidenc

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guidance

from their teacher at school and they know what is right and wrong and discuss

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it with

show examples

with

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it with

show examples

totuters

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teachers

For instance

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recent

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a recent

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survey

conduct

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conducted

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by the

unversity

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university

oxfood

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Oxfood

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and

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apply

show examples

they

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apply

show examples

found crime is

increaseing

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increasing because

becasue

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apply

show examples

teenagers can not

contral

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control

their emotions when they

playing

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

games

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

crimes are increasing in

juvinal

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juveniles

and

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apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

be control

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be controlled

show examples

through

awaerness

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awareness

and

gudience

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guidance

. The parents

shoud

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should

closely watch

thier

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their

child

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child's

show examples

beheviour

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behaviour

and teachers have to teach about what

are

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show examples

the

consequance

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consequences

consequence

when they offend.

Submitted by parvinkumar0794 on Sun Sep 22 2024

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improvement

The essay's main ideas could be clearer and more comprehensive. Consider elaborating on each point with more detail and ensuring that ideas are fully developed.

improvement

Pay attention to grammatical errors and spelling mistakes; these can detract from the clarity of your essay. Use tools or resources to help with proofreading.

improvement

While you have an introduction and conclusion, ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points.

positive

The attempt to provide a structured response with introduction and conclusion is noted. Keep working on developing a clear thesis and reinforcing it throughout the essay.

positive

Providing specific examples, like the example from the USA, helps to illustrate your points. Ensure these examples are accurate and relevant.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
80
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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It is often thought that the increase in juvenile crime can be attributed to violence in the media. Do you agree that this is the main cause of juvenile crime? What solutions can you offer to deal with this situation?

Your opinion

In a public-funded health care system people who are willing to pay for the best and fastest treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

You are renting a flat from an agency. Your contract was for one year but you need to leave the flat two months early.

Some people believe that entertainment such as film star pop musicians or sports star are paid to much money Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of jobs should be highly paid.?