IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

the pictures show how tomato ketchup is made. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

#pictures #show #tomato #ketchup #summerize #information #features
The photos illustrate how tomato
ketchup
 is produced. There are 15 stages in
diagram
Add an article
the diagram
a diagram
show examples
 , from picking
tomatoes
 from bushes , to
enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
show examples
ketchup
 on your food. In
first
Add an article
the first
show examples
stage
Add a comma
stage,
show examples
 the
tomatoes
 are picked , and
then
 they are sorted into
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 groups
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
good and bad. After
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 they are sent to
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
show examples
 by truck to start processes on them . Once the
tomatoes
are arrived
Change to the active voice
arrive
have arrived
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
factory
Add an article
the factory
a factory
show examples
 , they are
then
 started to remove
skin
Correct article usage
the skin
show examples
, stalk and seeds
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Next
Add a comma
Next,
show examples
 the
tomatoes
 are put into big
containers
 , which they are crushed in
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.after adding sugar,
winegar
Correct your spelling
vinegar
Winegar
 and salt to
containers
 , they are started boiling by fire flames. When the paste is left for
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
 hours to be cold , it is
then
 put into
sauce
containers
. In order to use
ketchup
sauce
 ,
sauce
containers
 are
labeled
Change the spelling
labelled
show examples
 and quality controlled .
next
Add a comma
next,
show examples
 they are put into boxes and are transferred to
supermarket
Add an article
the supermarket
a supermarket
show examples
.
Subsequently
 , by buying a
ketchup
sauce
 you can enjoy it on your
humburger
Correct your spelling
hamburger
 and fries.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Try to maintain consistent tense throughout your essay. There are inconsistencies like 'they are started to remove' which should be 'they start to remove'.
coherence
Use more varied sentence structures to make your essay more engaging. Instead of starting multiple sentences with 'next' or 'then', try different phrases such as 'following that', 'afterwards', 'subsequently'.
grammar
Ensure that all verbs are appropriately conjugated. For example, 'the paste is left for two hours to be cold' should be 'the paste is left for two hours to cool down'.
task response
The essay provides a clear overview of the process with an appropriate step-by-step description.
coherence
The sequencing of steps is logical and easy to follow, which makes the process understandable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • washing
  • contaminants
  • crushing
  • extract
  • pulp
  • cooking
  • mixture
  • straining
  • seeds
  • skins
  • bottling
  • sterilized
  • labeling
  • packaging
  • distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: