IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
At present numerous
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 consider that seeing
Use synonyms
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
 is more effective than hearing in
TV
Use synonyms
News
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
Similarly
Linking Words
, l agree with
this
Linking Words
 assertion, and
this
Linking Words
 essay
examine
Change the verb form
examines
show examples
 the reason why
this
Linking Words
 is viable
according to
Linking Words
 me.
Body paragraph 2
Let us understand the reason why I believe that watching
image
Fix the agreement mistake
images
show examples
 is beneficial for
great
Correct article usage
the great
show examples
 imagination of
people
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 applying
Use synonyms
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
 and voice at the same time is the most important subject.
Body paragraph 3
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are using
News
Use synonyms
 by kind of
TV
Use synonyms
 and
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
 of mobile.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 forget many
part
Change to a plural noun
parts
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
News
Correct article usage
the News
show examples
 after
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 times.
For example
Linking Words
, an international newspaper published
news
Use synonyms
 that 83% of the folk
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 forgotten all of
Use synonyms
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
 that have heard
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5 days ago
Hence
Linking Words
,
for resolving
Change preposition
to resolve
show examples
this
Linking Words
 subject scientists have
discover
Change the verb form
discovered
show examples
 that
mixing
Correct article usage
the mixing
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
picture
Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
show examples
 and voice
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 much
effective
Correct quantifier usage
more effective
show examples
 in
brain
Add an article
the brain
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 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 for remembering.
Body paragraph 4
Linking Words
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, it is said that seeing and watching in during
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
 not only can
destroyed
Change the verb form
destroy
show examples
 to eyes but
also
Linking Words
 can affect
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
understanding
Hence
Linking Words
,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to just
hearing
Change the verb
hear
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 because hurting
Correct article usage
the eye
show examples
eye
Fix the agreement mistake
eyes
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, the
researcher
Fix the agreement mistake
researchers
show examples
 are indicating that
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 is able to concentrate by only hearing as much as seeing
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I realize that the programs of
TV
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 are switching to
ward
Fix the agreement mistake
wards
show examples
 of combining
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sound and image.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, undoubtedly, adding
Use synonyms
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
News
Use synonyms
 stories will bring plenty of positive
acivantage
Correct your spelling
advantages
.
Thus
Linking Words
 I assume that every director of
TV
Use synonyms
 is improving their way of program currently for better understanding.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases more effectively to connect ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that both introduction and conclusion are well-developed. The introduction should provide a clear overview of the topic, and the conclusion should summarize the main points decisively.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more relevant and specific examples. This can make your arguments more convincing and easier to follow.
task achievement
Clarify and deepen your main points to enhance the overall quality and comprehensiveness of the response.
task achievement
The essay contains a clear position on the topic, expressing agreement with the statement.
task achievement
An effort has been made to support the main points with relevant examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay showcases an attempt to structure the information logically, using an introductory paragraph, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • empathize
  • instantaneous comprehension
  • irrefutable evidence
  • transcend language barriers
  • overreliance
  • oversimplification
  • misinformation
  • desensitizing
  • nuance
  • in-depth analysis
  • symbiotic relationship
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