IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2005. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.

the graph below shows the number of visitors to three museums between 2000 and 2005. summerize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparison where relevant.
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The
barchart
Correct your spelling
bar chart
 illustration about how many people
visite
Correct your spelling
visited
show examples
 three museums, over a
five
Correct your spelling
five-year
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 period between 2000 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
 rise in the
visitors
Use synonyms
 of
National-China
Change preposition
to National-China
show examples
 and MET-New York
Use synonyms
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
 over the period in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
question,
while
Linking Words
 the visitor of Edo-Tokyo
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased
Between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over five
years
Use synonyms
. Another interesting point is that
Edo
Correct article usage
the Edo
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 the most
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 2000, but in 2005 National
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 more
visitors
Use synonyms
 than others. Looking at the details, as regards MET
visitors
Use synonyms
 halved to 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in 2001,
then
Linking Words
 there was a
steadily
Change the word
steady
show examples
 rise in the next four
years
Use synonyms
. If we look at
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
Use synonyms
museum
Capitalize word
Museum
show examples
 the figure
was rise
Change the verb form
rose
show examples
 steadily
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
 five
years
Use synonyms
 over the period in question.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
show examples
 the
visitors
Use synonyms
 of
Edo
Change preposition
to Edo
show examples
 fell gradually
6
Change preposition
by 6
show examples
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
visitors
Use synonyms
 between 2000 to 2003. After that despite falling gradually to 6
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, the figure
then
Linking Words
 leveled off between 2003 to 2005.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, visitors, museum with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • number of visitors
  • museum
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • the period between 2000 and 2005
  • decline
  • rise
  • comparatively
  • sharp
  • slight
  • notable
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