You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the foliowing topic: News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. What is your opinion about this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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At present numerous individuals consider that seeing
pictures
is more effective than hearing in
TV
News
.
Similarly
, l agree with
this
assertion, and
this
essay examines the reason why
this
is viable
according to
me.
First,
the reason why I believe that watching images is beneficial is because it helps
people
to have a great imagination of the
news
.
To begin
with, applying
pictures
and voices at the same time on
TV
is the most important subject.Nowadays,
people
receive
News
by kinds of
TV
and a variety of mobile phones.
Therefore
, the majority of
people
forget many parts of the
News
after a few times.
For example
, an international newspaper published
news
that 83% of the folk had forgotten all of the
news
that they
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
heard during the
last
5 days .
Hence
, to resolve
this
subject scientists have discovered that the mixing of
pictures
and voices is much more effective in the brain of humans for remembering.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, it is said that seeing and watching during
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
day not only can destroy the eyes but
also
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
understanding.
Hence
, the majority of
people
prefer to just hear
news
Add an article
the news
show examples
because
hurting
Change preposition
of hurting
show examples
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
.
For example
, the researchers are indicating that the brain of humans is able to concentrate by only hearing as much as seeing .
Nevertheless
, I realize that the programs of
TV
are switching towards combining sound and image.
To conclude
, undoubtedly, adding
pictures
to
News
stories will bring plenty of positive advantages.
Thus
, I assume that
currently
Add a comma
currently,
show examples
all the
news
directors are improving their way of programs for a better understanding.
Submitted by aksoysana on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the question by providing an opinion and supporting points, but it can be improved by providing more relevant and specific examples to enhance the arguments. Consider including examples from personal experience or well-known incidents to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay generally follows a logical structure, but there are places where the transition between ideas can be smoother. Using more transition words and phrases will help to improve the flow of the essay. Additionally, avoid repeating words and phrases; strive for greater variety in your vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps to frame the argument and provide closure.
task achievement
Clear opinion is stated early in the essay, making the writer's stance easy to understand.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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