IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the government should provide housing, while others believe that it is not the government’s responsibility.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The issue of whether the
government
Use synonyms
 has a
responsibility
Use synonyms
 to
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s housing has sparked considerable debate, with some
people
Use synonyms
 arguing that
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s housing is outside the
government
Use synonyms
’s
responsibility
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
administration
Correct article usage
the administration
show examples
 should arrange for
people
Use synonyms
 to live. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views but personally, I agree that the
government
Use synonyms
 has no obligation to accommodate
people
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, it is understandable why some
people
Use synonyms
 support that the
adiminstration
Correct your spelling
administration
 has no
responsibility
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s housing. A primary reason is private sector can better address housing needs through market-driven solutions and innovation, as
this
Linking Words
 approach
competition
Change preposition
to competition
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 in the housing market can lead to
more
Add an article
the more
a more
show examples
 efficient allocation of resources and faster development.
For example
Linking Words
, individuals who follow the
government
Use synonyms
 shouldn’t
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
Use synonyms
responsibility
Add an article
the responsibility
a responsibility
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing shortages often find that
private
Correct article usage
the private
show examples
 sector is better able to meet
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
’s housing needs.
Furthermore
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, many
agrue
Correct your spelling
argue
agree
 that
government
Use synonyms
 involvement in housing can lead to inefficiencies and bureaucratic delays, which may hinder timely solutions, as it provides public housing projects can be subject to lengthy planning and approval
processess
Correct your spelling
processes
, delaying their completion.
Thus
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, the reasoning behind
this
Linking Words
 perspective is understandable and has merit.
However
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, I would argue that the
government
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 should
providing
Change the verb form
provide
be providing
show examples
 housing is
also
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 logical. A significant reason is the
government
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 can provide affordable housing solutions that may not be profitable for private developers, addressing the needs of low-income citizens, which can
through
Capitalize word
Through
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 subsidies, public housing projects, or rent controls, governments can ensure that housing remains accessible.
For example
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,
government
Use synonyms
 assistance can not only relieve the pressure
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 low-income
people
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 help them to solve the problem of food and clothing.
Additionally
Linking Words
, publicly funded
hosuing
Correct your spelling
housing
 initiatives can address systemic
isssues
Correct your spelling
issues
,
such
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 as land scarcity and high costs, which private markets might not resolve, as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
governments can regulate zoning laws and provide incentives for affordable housing developments.
Therefore
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this
Linking Words
 approach
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 sustainable. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 providing housing has
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
show examples
 low-income
citizen’s
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens’
show examples
 pressure and solving systemic problems lays the foundation for sustainable urban development, I believe that the
government
Use synonyms
 is not in charge of housing
provides
Correct word choice
and provides
show examples
 a more practical and balanced approach.

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task achievement
Try to further develop your supporting points with more detailed examples or explanations to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly presented and fully expanded upon to avoid any potential confusion for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas logically, using clear transitions between points to maintain coherence and ensure smooth flow.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views, reflecting a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and clearly present the topic and personal opinion.
task achievement
The essay engages with different perspectives, enriching the discussion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic living standards
  • social equality
  • economic growth
  • disposable income
  • sustainable/sustainability
  • taxes
  • quality of housing
  • private sector
  • government intervention
  • innovation
  • efficiency
  • affordable housing
  • self-sufficiency
What to do next:
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