IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 different types of fast food in Britain from 1970 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph below shows the consumption of 3 different types of fast food in Britain from 1970 to 1990. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph above illustrates the trend in the
consumption
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of three different types of fast food by British
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from 1970 to 1990. Generally, there have been increases recorded in the
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of burgers and fish and chips consumed by the foodies in the UK,
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 enjoyed less pizza over the years. With less than 100 grams taken on average, Fish and Chips ranked the second most popular instant catering option among Britons in 1970, which
is
Wrong verb form
was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

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 followed by a gentle rise within the next twenty years.
From
Change preposition
Since

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 1980, there has been a stark increase in the
consumption
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of the national dish with a peak has been reached
at
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 1990, making it
a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 dish with the most
consumption
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, and 5 times more than the record in 1970. Being the least consumed junk food option on the list, on average
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 only consumed 50 grams of burgers in 1970.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 the
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 increased slightly in the next 15 years, the intake of Hamburgers rose significantly from 1985,
overtook
Wrong verb form
overtaking

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb overtook. Consider changing it.

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 pizza with the
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb reached. Consider changing it.

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 300 grams in 1990. With the
lost
Replace the word
loss

The word lost doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 of a third in the
amount
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of pizza eaten, there has been a gradual decline in the
consumption
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 by British
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 from 1970 to 1990.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, people, amount with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • fast food
  • Britain
  • decade
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • stable
  • significant
  • milestones
  • sharp
  • popularity
  • patterns
  • preferences
  • correlations
  • observations
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