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Band 6.5

The graph shows average annual percentages of online adults who use different social networks. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph shows average annual percentages of online adults who use different social networks. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#percentages #adults #networks #information #features #comparisons
The line graph shows the usage of websites among adults over a
two year
Add a hyphen
two-year
show examples
 period from 2014 to 2016.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 In 2014, the most popular option was using one site, attracting approximately 36% of users. The categories for no
sites
 and two
sites
 were close, each hovering around 22% to 23%.
overmore
Correct your spelling
Moreover
, five
sites
 had the lowest change , with only about 2% of adults showing.
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 By 2015, there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
noticeable changes in the graph The number of users engaging with three
sites
 increased to around 8%,
while
 four
sites
 saw a rise to about 4%.
However
, there was a significant decline in the use of
one site
Add a hyphen
one-site
show examples
Overally
Correct your spelling
Overall
, one site and no
sites
 were the most consistently popular choices across both years,
while
 five
sites
 remained the least utilized option. There was a slight upward trend in the interest for using three and four
sites
 .
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sites with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average annual percentage
  • online adults
  • social networks
  • main features
  • comparisons
  • highest/lowest
  • discernible trends
  • consistent growth/decline
  • popularity
  • competition
  • functionality
  • significant changes
  • patterns
  • spike/drop in usage
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