IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You live in a small city. A local internet service provider is planning to launch 5G technology in your area. Company is conducting a survey to know public opinion Option A: Company should launch 5G for better communication services. Option B: introduction of 5G means more expensive internet services.

#city #internet #service #provider #g #technology #area #company #survey #option #communication #services #b #introduction
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I firmly believe that launching 5G
services
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 would be an excellent option for the town. By introducing new technologies, one can upgrade the version of existing platforms of communications and experience fast internet speed across the websites. Better communication leads to a healthy relationship among people. Our ordinary, outdated 4G
services
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 system works overload and needs an upgradation. There have been numerous complaints by the customers about the drawbacks which they are facing frequently. Rectifying these issues with the introduction of advanced technologies would be extremely beneficial for the city’s population.
Additionally
Linking Words
, internet speed in the existing network is highly interrupted by outdated machines. New
services
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 will remove these problems to a great extent. An IT specialist working in Infosys is facing a huge disadvantage of web speed; by not meeting the deadlines on time. Local 5G provider guarantees that these problems can be eliminated by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advanced solutions. To reiterate, I strongly encourage the internet provider should launch the new 5G
services
Use synonyms
 in the town to mitigate those existing problems in web speed and in the communication spectrum.
Submitted by preetpatel2497 on

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task achievement
Consider offering a brief introduction that provides background information on the importance of high-speed internet services before stating your opinion. This would help set up your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be rephrased for clarity. For instance, 'our ordinary, outdated 4G services system works overload' can be rephrased to 'our current 4G service is often overloaded and outdated.'
task achievement
Try to add some contrasting points to show different perspectives. While you support the introduction of 5G, acknowledging potential objections (like increased costs) would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively reiterates your stance and summarizes the main points, which helps provide a strong finish.
task achievement
Your essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas that are well-structured and easy to follow.
task achievement
You have included specific examples, such as the IT specialist facing issues due to slow internet, which grounds your argument in real-world scenarios.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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