The graph below shows the average number of movies seen in a theater per year, by age group. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the average number of movies seen in a theater per year, by age group. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line chart illustrates the pattern of
movies
Use synonyms
chosen by different age groups of people in cinema between 2000 and 2015. It is noteworthy that the
number
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of
movies
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watched by the young adult
group
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increased
year
Use synonyms
by
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
the
Use synonyms
movies
Correct quantifier usage
number of movies
show examples
seen by older groups decreased. The
number
Use synonyms
of
movies
Use synonyms
picked by the youngest
group
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of people, which
is consist
Change the verb form
consists
show examples
of young
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
in their 18-24 years, was significantly increased. In 2000, it was at 10
movies
Use synonyms
per
year
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and gradually rose to 12 in 2005, remained static in 2010, and reached a peak of 14
movies
Use synonyms
in 2015. Showing the opposite trends, the
number
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of
movies
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watched by the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
group
Use synonyms
aged 25 to 44 years old
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
decreased steeply from 12
movies
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annually to 10 and 7 in 2005 and 2010, respectively.
At the end
Linking Words
of the period, it hit the lowest point of 5
movies
Use synonyms
. The
number
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of
movies
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selected by the third age
group
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(45-65 years old)
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
showed a
declination
Replace the word
decline
show examples
yearly. It was at the highest
number
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in 2000, accounting for 15
movies
Use synonyms
each
year
Use synonyms
. It reduced by only 1 in 2005, continued to decrease to 12 in 2010, and
finally
Linking Words
crashed to only 8
movies
Use synonyms
in the
last
Linking Words
period.
Submitted by sheillarachmania12 on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words movies, number, group, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age group
  • average number
  • theater
  • per year
  • trends
  • noticeable
  • fluctuations
  • significant differences
  • similarities
  • patterns
  • younger
  • older
  • respectively
  • period
  • shown in the graph
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