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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the proportion of the population aged 65 and over between 1940 and 2040 in three different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportion #population #three #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates the capacity of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 65 and over from 1940 to 20240 in three
differenct
Correct your spelling
different
countries
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as Japan, Sweden and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
. In 1940,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest population among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
 approximately 9% . It experienced a slight increase in 196 about 10%
then
Linking Words
 it rose drastically until 1980
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 15%. From 1985 to 2019 the American
people
Use synonyms
 drop slightly under 15%. In the following year, it climbed dramatically around 23% which reached a pick
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
decade
Add an article
the decade
show examples
.
Initially
Linking Words
, Swedish roughly 8%
then
Linking Words
 experienced a small boost in 196 which about 7%
then
Linking Words
 it rose modestly until 14% in 1980. In the following year, it had a little decrease until 1985. Afterward, the population experienced a sharp increase between 1985 and 2018
then
Linking Words
 had a small fall until 2025. It touched the highest point about 25% in 2040. Japan, which
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest capacity of
people
Use synonyms
 in 1940 around 5%
then
Linking Words
 touched the bottom in 1960. It experienced the number of
stabilize
Wrong verb form
stabilised
show examples
 from 1960 to 1985
then
Linking Words
 rose sharply between 1985 and 2040
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
hit
Wrong verb form
hitting
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 apex above 25% and
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 huge community of
people
Use synonyms
 among the other
countries
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, during the one century, Japan became the biggest human
beings
Fix the agreement mistake
being
show examples
 between two other
countries
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, American
people
Use synonyms
 from the top in the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
then
Linking Words
 became the lowest
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
decade
Add an article
the decade
show examples
.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, countries with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • aging population
  • proportion
  • elderly
  • significant increase
  • surpass
  • gradual increase
  • crucial period
  • rapid increase
  • healthcare advancements
  • lower birth rates
  • projections
  • adjustments in social services
  • demographic dynamics
  • lifestyle choices
  • trends
  • notable
  • potentially
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