Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views adn give your own opinion.
Education is the base of society which
decide
the career of the person and Correct subject-verb agreement
decides
also
Linking Words
future
of the nation where some Correct article usage
the future
students
want to learn an extra Use synonyms
subject
during their main Use synonyms
study
and the opponents say that Use synonyms
students
should focus and give more time to their specific qualification. I shell Use synonyms
disucss
both Correct your spelling
discuss
view points
and share my opinion in the next paragraphs.
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
Students
who focus on a variety of Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subject
with their main Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
study
help them to Use synonyms
broden
their Correct your spelling
broaden
knowledges
and having more Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
knowledges
about different things Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
beneficials
for them as it Correct your spelling
beneficial
open
many doors Change the verb form
opens
of
Change preposition
to
further
studies and Linking Words
also
jobs for them. Because of an additional Linking Words
subject
Use synonyms
study
, pupils gain more Use synonyms
informations
about a variety of things which Change the wording
information
pieces of information
make
them brave when they share their creative ideas during class or events.
Some Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
students
tend to Use synonyms
study
Use synonyms
book related
Add a hyphen
book-related
Use synonyms
subject
only where they Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
study
only for a degree. There are many benefits of learning and Use synonyms
give
all time to one qualification. First of all, it Wrong verb form
giving
increase
knowledge of one specific Change the verb form
increases
subject
where younger can Use synonyms
broden
their skills Correct your spelling
broaden
depply
and Correct your spelling
deeply
can
achieve mastery Verb problem
apply
on
it. But, people who learned only bookies Change preposition
of
study
and not other Use synonyms
Use synonyms
subject
have Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
a less knowledge
Remove the article
less knowledge
a piece of less knowledge
in compare
to those Change preposition
compared
have
studied Correct pronoun usage
who have
an extra curriculam
subjects.
Agglomerating all the points elaborated above it can be concluded that Correct your spelling
extracurricular
students
should focus first on their main Use synonyms
study
and after finishing their school Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
,
if they have a chance Remove the comma
apply
then
they should go for Linking Words
an
extra studies.Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views of the topic, which is good. However, try to make your arguments clearer by organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs. Separate the discussion of both viewpoints and your opinion into different sections.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that can make your essay harder to read. Take your time to proofread your work. Consider using tools like Grammarly or asking a friend to help review your essay.
task achievement
Ensure that you include specific examples to support your points. This would help make your arguments stronger and more convincing. For example, you can reference specific fields of study or job opportunities that benefit from a broader education.
task achievement
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument and provide a conclusion, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a clear effort to discuss the issue thoroughly and present a balanced view.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.