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Band 5.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views adn give your own opinion

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification #adn
Education is the base of society which decides the career of the person and
also
 the future of the nation where some
students
 want to learn an extra
subject
 during their main
study
 and the opponents say that
students
 should focus and give more time to their specific qualification. I shall discuss both viewpoints and share my opinion in the next paragraphs.
Students
 who focus on a variety of
subjects
 with their main
study
 help them to broaden their
knowledge
 and having more
knowledge
 about different things is beneficial for them as it opens many doors to
further
 studies and
also
 jobs for them. Because of an additional
subject
study
, pupils gain more information about a variety of things which makes them brave when they share their creative ideas during class or events. Some
students
 tend to
study
 book-related
subjects
 only where they
study
 only for a degree. There are many benefits of learning and giving all time to one qualification. First of all, it increases
knowledge
 of one specific
subject
 where younger can broaden their skills deeply and achieve mastery of it.
Students
 who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 studied
depply
Correct your spelling
deeply
 do excel in their
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
. But, people who learned only bookies
study
 and not other
subjects
 have less
knowledge
 compared to those who have studied extracurricular
subjects
. Agglomerating all the points elaborated above it can be concluded that
students
 should focus first on their main
study
 and after finishing their school
subject
 if they have a chance
then
 they should go for extra studies.
Submitted by ap064911 on

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph clearly supports the main points with relevant and specific examples to enhance comprehension.
coherence cohesion
Work on avoiding repetitive phrasing and improve grammatical accuracy to make the essay more polished and coherent.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes an introduction and conclusion, making the structure clear.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are discussed, addressing the task effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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