Some people think that volunteering should be a mandatory part of high school education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

The idea of making volunteering a mandatory part of high school education has sparked considerable debate. Proponents argue that volunteering
instills
Change the spelling
instils
show examples
essential values
such
as empathy, teamwork, and social responsibility. It allows
students
to engage with their communities, understand societal challenges, and develop practical skills that are beneficial in both personal and professional contexts. Volunteering experiences can
also
enhance
students
’ resumes and college applications.
However
, critics contend that mandatory volunteering may lead to resentment among
students
, diminishing the genuine spirit of helping others. They argue that volunteerism should be a personal choice driven by passion and commitment, rather than an obligation imposed by educational institutions. In my opinion,
while
voluntary participation is crucial, introducing structured opportunities for
students
to engage in community service can be beneficial. Schools can create programs that allow
students
to explore various areas of volunteering, promoting a culture of giving back without making it a requirement. By fostering a genuine interest in volunteering, educational institutions can encourage young people to develop a lifelong commitment to community service, ultimately contributing positively to society.
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task achievement
Consider adding a few specific examples or case studies to better illustrate the points made. This will strengthen your arguments and provide more concrete evidence for your claims.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, try to ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Stronger linking words and phrases can enhance the flow and clarity.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both sides of the issue, providing a clear stance in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the debate effectively, and the conclusion provides a thoughtful resolution.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
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