Some people get into debt by buying thing they do not need and cannot afford. What is the reason for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
These days a lot of
people
bought
Wrong verb form
buy
things
they do not need and cannot afford. The main reason for this
behaviour
because people
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
things
they think they need. To tackle this
issue people
need to be aware about
what they Change the preposition
of
are
really need.
Unnecessary verb
apply
People
Change preposition
in reccent
reccent
days bought many Correct your spelling
recent
things
, although
they are do
not Verb problem
apply
need
. Wrong verb form
needed
This
behaviour
depends on many factors. Firstly
, some people
influenced by advertisements, so when they are seen
Wrong verb form
see
somthing
Correct your spelling
something
in
Change preposition
on
tv
or Correct your spelling
TV
in
social media they think they Change preposition
on
are need
. Change the verb form
are needed
Secondly
, other people
just like buying things
when they are in bad
mood or in Correct article usage
a bad
difficult
situation. Add an article
a difficult
For example
, a study at Harvard University shows that people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
binge buying
when they have a bad time. Buyer Add a hyphen
binge-buying
behaviour
depends on their mood and what they see in
social media and advertisements.
To handle Change preposition
on
this
issue people
need to be aware about
what they buying and when. Some Change the preposition
of
people
going
to someone Wrong verb form
go
experts
in buying Fix the agreement mistake
expert
behaviour
to ask him help
. Change preposition
for help
For instance
, my friend when he was in the
early twenties Change the word
his
suffering
in his financial status because he was Wrong verb form
suffered
debt
to Change preposition
in debt
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
things
he do
not really need. Another solution, banks need to change their policies regarding debt.
Wrong verb form
did
To sum up
, some individuals get into debt by buying things
they do not really need and cannot replace. The reasons for this
behaviour
it because
some Correct word choice
that
people
buying
anything they Wrong verb form
buy
seen
in advertisements or Wrong verb form
see
in
social media and others Change preposition
on
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
things
when they are be
in critical Change the verb form
are
situation
. To tackle Fix the agreement mistake
situations
this
issue people
need to be aware and go to experts person to help them in their financial status.Submitted by reem.b.albalawi on
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task achievement
Work on providing more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Examples should be detailed and directly related to the main idea discussed in each paragraph.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are developed more clearly and comprehensively. This will ensure that the reader can easily understand your point of view and follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Aim for stronger coherence and cohesion by using linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. This helps to achieve a natural flow and makes your essay more readable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the supporting points are logically organized around that idea.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear effort to respond to the task by discussing both the reasons for the behavior and the actions that can be taken to prevent it.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are present, providing a framework for the essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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