some people believe that old people should live in unrsing homes. Others say they would be better off with their families. Consider the pros and cons and give your opinion.
Nowadays, there has been an increase in the number of older
people
living in nursing homes
. However
, in spite of this
, it is often said that it is the family that should take care of its elder members. Although
both of this
patterns have pros and cons, I believe that Correct determiner usage
these
elderly
should live with their Correct article usage
the elderly
families
.
Living in nursing homes
can have significant benefits.
First and foremost, nurses can provide complex help throughout the day. Taking care of older people
is very time consuming
, Add a hyphen
time-consuming
therefore
, not all families
have enough time to do it; however
, in the nursing homes
the crew is there to assist their patients daily, so they have always had a feeling of safety. Furthermore
, nursing homes
can have positive
impact on Add an article
a positive
social
Add an article
the social
life
of older people
. Since elderly
live there with other patients that have similar Correct article usage
the elderly
age
, they can Fix the agreement mistake
ages
easy
find common topics of conversation or hobbies they may share.
Change the word
easily
On the other hand
, in my opinion
the advantages of living with Add a comma
opinion,
families
can easily outweigh the one’s
from nursing Change the noun form
ones
one
homes
. What is the
most important, Correct article usage
apply
elderly
are able to spend time with their Correct article usage
the elderly
children
and grandchildren. Family plays a key role in most of
Change preposition
apply
people
’s life
, Fix the agreement mistake
lives
thus
, the opportunity to be a part of the family may be a factor that will be a source of real happiness for elders. Additionally
, older people
also
can take a
active part in Change the article
an
Correct article usage
the family’s
family’s
Change noun form
family
life
. Which
means that, regardless of their age they still can help their Correct pronoun usage
This
children
in organising their daily life
, like taking care of grandchildren, cooking, cleaning
the house.
In conclusion, Correct word choice
and cleaning
although
nursing homes
can be beneficial for elders in the meaning of developing the social life
and maintaining the feeling of safety, to my mind it is much better for them to live with their families
. As a
result
older Add a comma
result,
people
will constantly have a
contact with their Remove the article
apply
children
and gran
Correct your spelling
grandchildren
children
as well as
opportunity
to take part in Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
daily
activities of family Correct article usage
the daily
life
.Submitted by kuba.glogowski on
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task achievement
Work on grammar accuracy, such as subject-verb agreement and plural forms.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence & cohesion
Improve transitions between sentences and paragraphs to create a smoother flow.
coherence & cohesion
Avoid repetitive phrases like 'nursing homes' and 'elderly.' Use synonyms or pronouns to vary your language.
coherence & cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt directly and provides arguments for both perspectives before delivering your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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