the chart below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in australia are currently attending

the chart below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in australia are currently attending
the pie chart displays
on
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apply
show examples
the location of
dance
classes
,
while
the bar graph
give
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gives
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information about
varieties
Replace the word
the variety of
show examples
dance
classes
australian
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Australian
show examples
youth are currently attending. In summary, the highest
percetange
Correct your spelling
percentage
of location of young
people
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people's
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dance
clasess
Correct your spelling
classes
class
is in private
studios
following
Wrong verb form
followed
show examples
by other places and young
people
at 11-16 attend
ballet
class
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classes
show examples
more than tap and modern
dance
,
while
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
people
under 11 attend modern
dance
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
than tap and
ballet
. The highest percentage of
dance
classes
location is in private
studios
at about 48%, respectively, following by school halls at
a
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apply
show examples
half of
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
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of private
studios
or at 24%.
Then
, the proportion of
dance
classes
held in community halls and
other
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others
show examples
at 18%
an
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and
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the lowest
percetange
Correct your spelling
percentage
at 10% held in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
college-based
studios
. Turning to
another categories
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another category
other categories
show examples
, the number of
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
age
Correct article usage
the age
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group between 11-16 that
attending
Wrong verb form
attend
show examples
ballet
Add an article
the ballet
a ballet
show examples
is
at
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apply
show examples
600
people
,
then
abouth
Correct your spelling
about
450
people
attending tap
dance
class
, and
for
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apply
show examples
300
people
join
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
dance
. Meanwhile, the number of
student
Change to a plural noun
students
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
11 years old that
Correct your spelling
joining
joininh
Correct your spelling
joined
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
group is
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
510
people
,
then
410
people
attending
Wrong verb form
attended
show examples
tap
dance
class
Correct your spelling
and
amd
Correct your spelling
and
300
people
Correct your spelling
join
joinh
Correct your spelling
joined
ballet
class
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, people, studios, ballet, class with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • distribution
  • attendance
  • community centers
  • dance schools
  • private studios
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • ballroom
  • analysis
  • popularity
  • accessibility
  • cost
  • cultural trends
  • media influences
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