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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in China in four periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of men and women in further education in China in four periods and whether they were studying full-time or part-time. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar charts illustrate information about full-time and part-time female and male
students
Use synonyms
 in China in four different periods at 10-year
interval
Fix the agreement mistake
intervals
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. From an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the number of permanent
students
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decrease
Change the verb form
decreases
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 throughout these years for both genders. Comparison between semi-permanent
students
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 and permanent ones showed that there were
significant
Change the word
significantly
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 farther for these two for both genders. Looking in more detail for permanent
students
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, women’s tendency towards full-time education was higher than men’s
at
Change preposition
in
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first
Correct article usage
the first
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 year. The initial number of full-time female
students
Use synonyms
 was approximately 1200 and
then
Linking Words
, declined near to 1100 before again decreasing to 1000 and
finally
Linking Words
 reached under 1000. In comparison with female
students
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, male learners’ preferences presented a dramatic decline from 1200 to over 500. Moving to part-time learners,
female
Correct article usage
the female
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 gender had
fluctuating
Add an article
a fluctuating
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 pattern which could be considered as a steady trend at around 200,
while
Linking Words
 male learners plumed throughout the years; in a way that it reached near zero. In comparison with full-time pupils, the number of part-time
students
Use synonyms
 was remarkably low for both genders in a way that
full-time
Correct article usage
the full-time
show examples
 education approach was over 500,
however
Linking Words
, part-time one was under 250.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Further education
  • Full-time study
  • Part-time study
  • Trends
  • Participation
  • Distribution
  • Disparities
  • Proportions
  • Growth
  • Policy changes
  • Cultural shifts
  • Gender equity
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