Writing topic: Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always good. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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During our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
,
people
face numerous challenges and have to make important decisions. There are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
who believe that it is more beneficial to live
life
always
with
Change preposition
in
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the same way
due to
their personality and character.
On the other hand
, some
people
think that
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
and
changes
have more advantages. In my way of thinking , whilst both perspectives are
worth
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worth it
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,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
l prefer to take some risks in order to improve some aspects of my
life
. On the one hand, the
people
who prefer to spend
a
Change the word
their
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing the same things. They do not want to leave their comfort zone. Because sometimes
changes
might seem hard and these
people
cannot cope with them.
For instance
,
such
people
choose the same profession or
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
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the same company for
undetermined
Add an article
an undetermined
show examples
period of
life
. That person knows what kinds of
emotion
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emotions
show examples
to expect from that job and what exactly they are supposed to act.
Moreover
, those
enjoy
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who enjoy
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spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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their leisure time doing the same
executing
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apply
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activities
which they
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apply
show examples
know what type of award or
enjoy
Replace the word
enjoyment
show examples
will come from doing them.
Furthermore
, they might predict what the future look like. It can be positive for some who prefer stability
instead
of
advanture
Correct your spelling
advantage
.
Conversely
, there are others who advocate
changes
more beneficial. These
people
reckon that
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
might lead us to improve our behaviours,
skills
Correct word choice
and skills
show examples
as
also
Rephrase
well
show examples
as how to learn to cope with several unexpected situations. By leaving our
comfot
Correct your spelling
comfort
zone, we can discover new talents and vocations. To
illusturate
Correct your spelling
illustrate
this
idea, the example of workers who frequently change their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
can be given.
As a result
of it,
people
might try different areas of interest,
therefore
, they can find what they really enjoy doing.
Additionaly
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Additionally
, explorers who travel the world, experience distinct
beleifs
Correct your spelling
beliefs
and customes which
became
Verb problem
make
show examples
them open-minded. In conclusion,
while
l feel both views are effective, l
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that
changes
can always be beneficial. When someone tries new things, explores unknown places or applies for
a different jobs
Correct the article-noun agreement
different jobs
a different job
show examples
, several opportunities
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
available, and they can fulfil their
potensial
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potential
.
Submitted by nezerli.x12 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to organize your thoughts more clearly. A stronger structure with clear topic sentences and better paragraphing will help with coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Develop your main points more fully with concrete examples and more detailed explanations.
general
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and syntax to improve the overall readability of your essay.
task achievement
You presented a balanced discussion by addressing both perspectives of the topic, which is essential for task response.
coherence cohesion
A conclusion is present and clearly states your opinion, effectively summarizing the essay.
task achievement
The essay contains relevant examples to support your ideas, which enhances your arguments.
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