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Band 5

In most successful organizations, some people believe that communications between managers and workers is important, other people said that other factors are more important. What is your opinion?

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One of the most controversial topics today relates to
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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are key factors to lead companies and organizations successfully.
While
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 some believe that it is the
interations
Correct your spelling
interactions
interaction

If you don’t want interations to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

between
directors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and subordinates, others
claims
Change the verb form
claim

The singular verb claims does not appear to agree with the plural subject others. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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 there are more important elements for
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay, I elaborate on the
resaons
Correct your spelling
reasons

If you don’t want resaons to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

why I support the former view.  The first reason why I argue that mutual understanding between
directors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 and employees is the most pivotal is that its result is hardwired with the worker's motivation. When
directors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 maintain showing how they
cherich
Correct your spelling
cherish
cherished

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their subordinates,
who
Correct pronoun usage
they

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 respond to them with high appreciation.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they are motivated and will devote themselves to their company. A good illustration is that
cooperations
Correct your spelling
corporations

The word cooperations doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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 which introduce monthly coaching sessions between managers and their employees tend to grow faster than others without.  Another reason for my viewpoint is that
workers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 can understand their company's policies and targets more precisely and more concretely through frequent
interations
Correct your spelling
interactions

If you don’t want interations to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with their bosses. As
workers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 tackle their work with confidence, they will be able to proceed
their
Change preposition
with their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 tasks more effectively. 
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they will achieve high
productively
Replace the word
productivity

The word productively doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
In contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
organizations
Change preposition
in organizations

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 where sufficient communication is not
matured
Replace the word
mature

The word matured doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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,
workers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 lose their confidence by amending documents they drew up repeatedly to adjust them to unclear
company's
Change noun form
company

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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 visions,
for example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 some individuals think that there are other vital factors than
interations
Correct your spelling
interactions

If you don’t want interations to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

between employers and employees, I oppose the idea. I vehemently believe that mutual understanding between them is the most imperative in all for success in the business field.
Directors
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 who wish to gain success should encourage their
workers
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 to have more discussions and communication
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities

If you don’t want oppotunities to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with their bosses.

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grammar
Improve grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to make the essay more polished.
vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the essay’s quality.
introduction
Your introduction effectively presents both sides of the argument and clearly states your opinion.
examples
Good use of examples to support your main points.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and clearly reiterates your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication channels
  • collaboration
  • productivity
  • workplace harmony
  • issue resolution
  • escalate
  • organizational culture
  • motivation levels
  • technological advancements
  • innovation
  • feedback mechanisms
  • performance evaluations
  • fairness
  • transparency
  • criteria
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