Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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In the past, other creatures in
this
world below
human
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humans
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tends
Wrong verb form
tended
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to be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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subject
for
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to
show examples
their needs, and it is often argued that
animals
should
be trade
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be traded
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to meet
people
's demands
in
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for
show examples
goods or services,
while
some individuals believed it shouldn't be.
This
essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion. To commence with,
animals
were the common subject to meet human needs because it has a lot of features that are suitable for
people
.
Although
, some
people
will think
that is
an
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apply
show examples
animal cruelty
but
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apply
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sometimes it
also
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is also
show examples
for the betterment of some
animals
.
For instance
, sheep wool is
very
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a very
show examples
versatile natural material, which makes it a perfect candidate for all kinds of
application
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applications
show examples
in the textile industry, and it
used
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is used
show examples
to produce binnies, scarves, and garments. So, the process is what we
called
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call
show examples
wool
sherring
Correct your spelling
shearing
sheering
sharing
,
as a result
of that, the sheep will have a new smooth wool in the future.
Secondly
, other
people
think that exploiting
animals
should not be allowed because it
will be
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is
show examples
against to
animal welfare act
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Animal Welfare Act
show examples
, and is
an
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apply
show examples
animal abuse.
Moreover
,
people
tend to abuse their power and sometimes
used
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use
show examples
it
to
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on
show examples
helpless creatures.
For example
,
some
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in some
show examples
nations eating dogs is still
custom
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a custom
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,
this
animal is not for food but
people
still do it. In my opinion, alternatives should be studied to lessen the
used
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use
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of
animals
for human benefits.
Due to
overexploitation may lead to potential environmental consequences.
Therefore
, individuals should be responsible
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
have some empathy towards
animals
, and
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
other resources to meet their needs and wants. In conclusion,
balance
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the balance
a balance
show examples
between the
used
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use
show examples
of
animals
should be observed for the betterment of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
In addition
to
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apply
show examples
, the Government should take action to ensure the welfare of the
animals
.
Submitted by alyssa.cordero22 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within the paragraph support that idea more cohesively.
task achievement
Strengthen arguments with more specifics and varied examples, providing more depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion that mirrors the introduction effectively, which contributes to its overall coherence.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are addressed, and the writer expresses their own opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Exploitation
  • Dominion
  • Medical research
  • Ethical considerations
  • Animal rights
  • Humane treatment
  • Environmental consequences
  • Sustainable farming
  • Cruelty-free
  • Technological advancements
  • Lab-grown meat
  • Computer modeling
  • Cultural context
  • Animal welfare
  • Empathy
  • Responsible stewardship
  • Alternatives
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