Some people think people can exploit animals for any purpose they need, while others do not think so. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In the past, other creatures in
this
world below human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
tends
to be Wrong verb form
tended
a
subject Correct article usage
apply
for
their needs, and it is often argued that Change preposition
to
animals
should be trade
to meet Change the verb form
be traded
people
's demands in
goods or services, Change preposition
for
while
some individuals believed it shouldn't be. This
essay will discuss both views and give my own opinion.
To commence with, animals
were the common subject to meet human needs because it has a lot of features that are suitable for people
. Although
, some people
will think that is
an
animal cruelty Remove the article
apply
but
sometimes it Remove the conjunction
apply
also
for the betterment of some Add a missing verb
is also
animals
. For instance
, sheep wool is very
versatile natural material, which makes it a perfect candidate for all kinds of Add an article
a very
application
in the textile industry, and it Fix the agreement mistake
applications
used
to produce binnies, scarves, and garments. So, the process is what we Add a missing verb
is used
called
wool Wrong verb form
call
sherring
, Correct your spelling
shearing
sheering
sharing
as a result
of that, the sheep will have a new smooth wool in the future.
Secondly
, other people
think that exploiting animals
should not be allowed because it will be
against to Wrong verb form
is
animal welfare act
, and is Correct your spelling
Animal Welfare Act
an
animal abuse. Remove the article
apply
Moreover
, people
tend to abuse their power and sometimes used
it Wrong verb form
use
to
helpless creatures. Change preposition
on
For example
, some
nations eating dogs is still Change preposition
in some
custom
, Correct article usage
a custom
this
animal is not for food but people
still do it.
In my opinion, alternatives should be studied to lessen the used
of Replace the word
use
animals
for human benefits. Due to
overexploitation may lead to potential environmental consequences. Therefore
, individuals should be responsible and
have some empathy towards Correct word choice
apply
animals
, and used
other resources to meet their needs and wants.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
use
balance
between the Add an article
the balance
a balance
used
of Replace the word
use
animals
should be observed for the betterment of the
society. Correct article usage
apply
In addition
to
, the Government should take action to ensure the welfare of the Change preposition
apply
animals
.Submitted by alyssa.cordero22 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that sentences within the paragraph support that idea more cohesively.
task achievement
Strengthen arguments with more specifics and varied examples, providing more depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and a conclusion that mirrors the introduction effectively, which contributes to its overall coherence.
task achievement
Both viewpoints are addressed, and the writer expresses their own opinion clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.