The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the U.S. from 1995 to 1999. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line chart illustrates the proportion of devices owned by families between 1995 and 1999. It can be highlighted that the number of all house appliances increased throughout the
years
. The washing machine was the most popular machinery people had in 1995. Its number
inclined
Verb problem
increased
show examples
by 10% in the following year at nearly 70%, subtly increased in 1997, and rose consistently over the next two periods, reaching the peak at 80% in 1999. The second most chosen
devices
Fix the agreement mistake
device
show examples
in 1995 was
computer
Add an article
a computer
the computer
show examples
, at 40%. Over the next four
years
, the number of families purchased
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
increased significantly and hit 70% in 1999, only a tenth lower than the washing machine.
Next,
DVD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
and
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
were the third and the fourth most preferred machines people had in their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
in the earliest period. The pattern of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
DVD player purchases dropped steeply in 1996, before climbing up gradually and hitting the same rate
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
computer owners in its earliest period,
comprised
Wrong verb form
comprising
show examples
40% of the respondents in 1999.
While
the phone was quite unpopular back in 1995 which accounted for less than a fifth, its popularity rose drastically in the span of four
years
and quadrupled in 1999.
Lastly
, the internet facility belonged to a mere 10% of the population in 1995, following the similar patterns of the other machineries, steadily uprose throughout the
years
until half of the families
lived
Wrong verb form
living
show examples
in 1999 obtained it.
Submitted by sheillarachmania12 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Households
  • Technology adoption
  • Growth rate
  • Decline rate
  • Milestones
  • Obsolete
  • Societal factors
  • Economic conditions
  • Advancements
  • Consumer preferences
  • Market saturation
  • Trend analysis
What to do next:
Look at other essays: