Influence of human beings on the world’s ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of bio-diversity. What are the primary causes of loss of biodiversity? What solutions can you suggest?

Human consumption badly
effected on
Verb problem
affects
show examples
nature and may lead to
reducing
Replace the word
the reduction
show examples
of creatures.
This
essay argues the main causes of that problem and possible decisions.
Wide range
Add a hyphen
Wide-range
show examples
production increases pollution on Earth which leads to troubles for animals and plants,
in addition
, if people stop producing that trash, it might be possible to avoid that problem. The population of people rocketed in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
decades, and that process
leads
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to
producing
Replace the word
the production of
show examples
more and more products
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and factories side. It’s unreal to promote all
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
goods without any pollution. Companies throw away rubbish to seas and oceans. Small piece of litter kills millions of ocean animals every year.
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
carbon dioxide, which
formed
Wrong verb form
forms
show examples
when factories burn materials,
polluting
Wrong verb form
pollutes
show examples
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
.
For instance
, the proportion of carbon dioxide in
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
increased by 23% in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
5 years. Regarding the solutions, individuals can ban all goods which are made
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
harmful
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
materials.
Plastic
badly
influence
Correct subject-verb agreement
influences
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human skin,
also
creating
this
material has
critically
Add an article
a critically
show examples
huge effect on nature. The process of burning and boiling
plastic
leads to promoting poison, which became to main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
extinction
Correct article usage
the extinction
show examples
of
Cacadu
Change noun form
Cacadu's
show examples
beard.
Moreover
, people can exchange
plastic
with wood. Wood is
natural
Add an article
a natural
show examples
product. It has not got any effect on
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. In conclusion, the problems with
loss
Correct article usage
the loss
show examples
of
bio-diversity
Correct your spelling
biodiversity
show examples
may
solve
Wrong verb form
be solved
show examples
if individuals stop
to produce
Wrong verb form
producing
show examples
materials
such
as
plastic
.
Therefore
, the causes of that troubles are consumption and
overpopulating
Replace the word
overpopulation
show examples
.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt, but there are some areas that could be improved for a more complete response. For instance, while the introduction and conclusion are present, the arguments could be developed further with more concrete examples.
coherence cohesion
You have presented a logical structure and your paragraphs flow reasonably well. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Additionally, being more precise with your ideas would help in improving coherence.
general advice
There are some grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrasings in the essay. Paying attention to subject-verb agreement and improving sentence structure could enhance clarity.
task achievement
The essay begins with a clear introduction and outlines the primary causes and potential solutions effectively.
coherence cohesion
You have a logical structure in your essay with separate paragraphs for causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a clear summary that ties back to the main points discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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