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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information about changes in the birth and death rates in New Zealand between 1901 and 2101. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given line graph illustrates the differences between birth and death in New Zealand in the timeline of 1901 and 2101. 
Overall
, the birth rate was much better most of the time until 2041, when the situation will be opposite. Birth has a downfall trend; meanwhile, death has a
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
 trend. As seen in the illustration, in the start, people who died were less than two times as many; the first
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was nearly 10,000, and the second was 20,000, respectively. The highest index of humans who were born was in 1961 with almost 65 thousand,
while
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 line had a bit more than 20 thousand.  As the graph shows, both lines will overlap in the future, and the situation is going to change from head to toe. They will reach approximately 50,000;
however
, after that in 2102 the number of
died
Replace the word
dead
show examples
 persons will have a historical maximum of 60,000 and
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 line will be 40,000.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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