Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate or pay attention in schools. What could be the reasons for this? What solutions can you suggest?

#children #attention #schools

In recent times it has been observed that children facing difficulty in concentrating on academics. There are different reasons for

this

issue; being addicted to games is one of the primary reasons which makes kids lethargic and lack focus. The below essay elaborates on

this

focused area and possible solutions which can be applied to overcome

this

concern. After the arrival of smartphones, nowadays children started to spend their leisure

time

with phones or games and social media platforms. Earlier kids used to spend their

time

with outdoor activities and reading books which helped them to develop their brains and make real friends.

This

boosted their focus and helped them to do well in academics.

For instance

, the study conducted by Delhi Child Development suggests that kids who spend one hour of

time

daily with games tend to be more violent and lack

paying

Verb problem

apply

show examples

attention to academics. It is important parents for parents and teachers to identify these issues and take possible precautions before escalate

further

. From my point of view, parents and teachers should encourage children to participate in sports activities and

involved

Add a missing verb

be involved

show examples

in clubs or other team activities.

This

way they will be more physically active and spend less

time

with digital platforms or other social media.

This

in turn helps them to improve their focus develop social skills and make friends.

Submitted by greeshmav91 on Tue Sep 24 2024

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task achievement

To improve task achievement, ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed. While reasons for the lack of concentration were discussed, solutions were somewhat limited. Consider expanding on this by providing more specific strategies and how they can be implemented effectively.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by using transition words and phrases consistently throughout the essay to guide the reader through your points. For example, use phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'Additionally,' and 'On the other hand.'

coherence cohesion

Enhance cohesion by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that main idea. Make sure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your main points. For instance, you mentioned games and smartphones as distractions, but you could provide more detailed examples of how these specifically affect academic concentration.

structure

The essay provides a clear introduction to the topic and a logical structure of points by first discussing the problem and then proposing solutions.

task achievement

The essay addresses relevant reasons for children's lack of concentration and provides a valid main solution, showing an understanding of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

224 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Attention span
Screen time
Cognitive function
Focus
Diet and nutrition
Processed foods
Cognitive function
Concentration levels
Sleep deprivation
Extracurricular activities
Distractions
Classroom environment
Teaching methods
Interactive content
Mental health issues
Anxiety
ADHD
Diagnosed
Concentration
Multimedia content

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Nowadays it is more difficult for children to concentrate or pay attention in schools. What could be the reasons for this? What solutions can you suggest?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that news has no connection with people’s lives; so it is a waste of time to read newspapers and watch television news programmes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Big-salary is much more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree? Provide relevant examples if necessary

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foregin language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country . Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school, Do the advantages of this outweight disadvantages.

Nowadays an increasing numbers of profession such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can done to solve this.