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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows time spent watching TV by age and gender in the The diagram below shows time spent watching TV by age and gender in the UK in 1995 and 1999

The diagram below shows time spent watching TV by age and gender in the The diagram below shows time spent watching TV by age and gender in the UK in 1995 and 1999
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The bar chart illustrates the difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 age and gender of people who watch TV in the UK in two years 1995 and 1999.
To sum up
Linking Words
, noticeable that old people had the highest rate of the two genders and the years. And there is no differences between ages from 35 to 44 and 45 to 54,
Firstly
Linking Words
 the
men
Correct quantifier usage
number of men
show examples
 in 1995 was pretty steady in the middle of the ages and
then
Linking Words
 increased onward
32
Change preposition
to 32
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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