some people think that online reading materials are better for children. others argues that traditional paper based resources are better. discuss and give your opinion.

There is no denying the fact that there are different styles of reading and
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
of us got
it’s
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
own.
While
it is commonly held belief that some people say that reading online is much better for children, there is
also
an argument that the traditional
ways
of reading
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
what we must let our
kids
go with.
This
essay will analyse
this
topic from both points of view and
exprss
Correct your spelling
express
my opinion. On one hand, when we let our
kids
learn online we can improve their skills because the internet is an open place so they can use different kinds of apps to find what is better for them.
In other words
, the internet is our future so when we let our
kids
use it in a wise
way
.
In addition
, if they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not use the internet in a useful
way
it may have a bad impact on them.
For example
,
Youtube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
is one of the
bigest
Correct your spelling
biggest
best
ways
of learning and having fun so we can put a book audio and let our
kids
listen to it or watch a video for a story but they might change it and watch something else.
On the other hand
, reading or studying
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the traditional
ways
could be a better
way
because
kids
only have a book so they can not waste their time
as well as
they can
memoraise
Correct your spelling
memorise
memorize
things in a good
way
. It is possible to say that they can be smarter and have a good memory.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
it is good because they can see what they read in front of them.
For instance
, buying a book from the library is one of the traditional
ways
of reading. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
question. On balance,
however
, I tend to believe that the old
ways
of reading
Correct your spelling
is much
ismuch
Correct your spelling
are much
better than e-books
Submitted by daliahmohsn9 on

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task achievement
You have addressed the task quite well, presenting both viewpoints and providing a clear opinion. However, your response could be more comprehensive and better supported with further examples or explanations.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but there are some areas where the argument could be further developed. Consider elaborating more on your points for a stronger argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay structure is logical with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, transition between ideas could be smoother. Use linking words and phrases to better connect your points.
coherence and cohesion
There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that occasionally make the essay hard to follow. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use more varied sentence structures.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the consistency of your essay by maintaining a clear focus on the main point of each paragraph. Ensure that all supporting points directly contribute to your argument.
task achievement
You have provided a balanced view by discussing both perspectives on the topic, which helps in conveying your comprehensive understanding.
task achievement
Your examples, such as YouTube and libraries, are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenient
  • accessible
  • interactive
  • engaging
  • multimedia
  • portable
  • suitable
  • physical
  • tangible
  • visual
  • distracted
  • limited
  • versatile
  • screen time
  • critical thinking
  • comprehension
  • retention
  • digital literacy
  • environmentally-friendly
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