In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a weekly payment from the government. Some people think that this payment should be stopped and that people should be made to work for their money. Do you agree or disagree?
These days
unepmloyment
has increased Correct your spelling
unemployment
due to
growth in inflation but what is
most effective method for dealing with unemployment is by getting Verb problem
the
weekly
stipend Correct article usage
a weekly
by
the government. Some people believe that individuals should work to earn Change preposition
from
living
rather than relying on government programmes. I completely agree with Correct article usage
a living
statement
and in Add an article
the statement
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will support my Change the capitalization
I
opinon
with examples.
Correct your spelling
opinion
Firstly
, this
approach will result in making people indolent and will demotivate other hardworking individuals. For instance
, a man is working a 9am to 5pm job who does his
with full determination and dedication to Change the pronoun
him
maked
Correct your spelling
make
hard
living Correct article usage
a hard
while
a slothful man lies around recieving
money from others. It would be unfair to the man who has a tough job.
Correct your spelling
receiving
Secondly
, This
policy can cause a great deal of financial strain on the countrie's
economy and could have drastic effects on the national treasury as well. Correct your spelling
country's
For example
, 30% of Japan's yearly budget is spent on taking care of the home-less
and needy. That amount of money can be spent on a far good cause if people are inclined to get jobs.
Correct your spelling
homeless
However
, in some case scenarios
financial aid becomes important, Add a comma
scenarios,
Due to
high
rate of inflation in some Correct article usage
the high
third world
countries humans have close to no work Add a hyphen
third-world
opporunities
. So there is no other option,
World Health Organization donates around 6 Billion dollars to small countries in Africa as they are underdeveloped.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
opportunities
although
there are some cases where financial aid is significant but
Remove the conjunction
apply
i
agree with the fact that every person should consider a job or a business to earn money rather than Change the capitalization
I
scavanging
off of others.Correct your spelling
scavenging
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coherence cohesion
Ensure consistency in tone and style throughout the essay. The transition between points can be smoother to improve coherence. For instance, using transitional phrases like 'on the other hand', 'moreover', etc.
task achievement
Address counter-arguments more comprehensively. This essay acknowledges that there are exceptions to the government payment rule but could explore the opposing viewpoint in greater detail.
task achievement
Reduce minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and appropriate word forms: 'making people indolent', 'working a 9 am to 5 pm job', 'a slothful man receiving money from others', 'countries' economy', and 'who does his job'.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and mostly follows through with logical arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main argument well. This ensures that the essay maintains its relevance to the topic throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.