In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a weekly payment from the government. Some people think that this payment should be stopped and that people should be made to work for their money. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #people #payment #government #work #money

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These days

unepmloyment

Correct your spelling

unemployment

has increased

due to

growth in inflation but

what is

Verb problem

the

show examples

most effective method for dealing with unemployment is by getting

weekly

Correct article usage

a weekly

show examples

stipend

Change preposition

from

show examples

the government. Some people believe that individuals should work to earn

living

Correct article usage

a living

show examples

rather than relying on government programmes. I completely agree with

statement

Add an article

the statement

show examples

and in

this

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

will support my

opinon

Correct your spelling

opinion

with examples.

Firstly

this

approach will result in making people indolent and will demotivate other hardworking individuals.

For instance

, a man is working a 9am to 5pm job who does

his

Change the pronoun

him

show examples

with full determination and dedication to

maked

Correct your spelling

make

hard

Correct article usage

a hard

show examples

living

while

a slothful man lies around

recieving

Correct your spelling

receiving

money from others. It would be unfair to the man who has a tough job.

Secondly

This

policy can cause a great deal of financial strain on the

countrie's

Correct your spelling

country's

economy and could have drastic effects on the national treasury as well.

For example

, 30% of Japan's yearly budget is spent on taking care of the

home-less

Correct your spelling

homeless

show examples

and needy. That amount of money can be spent on a far good cause if people are inclined to get jobs.

However

, in some case

scenarios

Add a comma

scenarios,

show examples

financial aid becomes important,

Due to

high

Correct article usage

the high

show examples

rate of inflation in some

third world

Add a hyphen

third-world

show examples

countries humans have close to no work

opporunities

Correct your spelling

opportunities

. So there is no other option, World Health Organization donates around 6 Billion dollars to small countries in Africa as they are underdeveloped. In conclusion,

although

there are some cases where financial aid is significant

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

Change the capitalization

show examples

agree with the fact that every person should consider a job or a business to earn money rather than

scavanging

Correct your spelling

scavenging

off of others.

Submitted by irsamahmood on Tue Sep 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure consistency in tone and style throughout the essay. The transition between points can be smoother to improve coherence. For instance, using transitional phrases like 'on the other hand', 'moreover', etc.

task achievement

Address counter-arguments more comprehensively. This essay acknowledges that there are exceptions to the government payment rule but could explore the opposing viewpoint in greater detail.

task achievement

Reduce minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and appropriate word forms: 'making people indolent', 'working a 9 am to 5 pm job', 'a slothful man receiving money from others', 'countries' economy', and 'who does his job'.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear stance on the topic and mostly follows through with logical arguments and examples.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main argument well. This ensures that the essay maintains its relevance to the topic throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

269 words

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In some countries, people who are unemployed receive a weekly payment from the government. Some people think that this payment should be stopped and that people should be made to work for their money. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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Write a letter to a community college in America which invited you to talk about your country. In your letter Accept invitation and suggest preferable dates Tell them what your talks will be about And what equipment you require them to arrange

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.