IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

‘Social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter are observed to have more negative effects than positive being more useful for the criminals than others. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.’

#sites #facebook #twitter #effects #criminals
It is argued that Facebook and Twitter on the internet have more bad impacts than good on
avioding
Correct your spelling
avoiding
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
criminals
 when
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with other methods.
This
 essay
disgrees
Correct your spelling
disagrees
 with the
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 because these social networking sites can promote the skills
how
Change preposition
of how
show examples
 to stop
criminals
 and share the experience
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
criminals
. Social networking
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 function
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 helping
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens to know more
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 to
aviod
Correct your spelling
avoid
criminals
. Facebook always
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
post
Correct subject-verb agreement
posts
show examples
 about new technologies or methods
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people cheat others. When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people have more
knowlodge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
show examples
, they can
be
Verb problem
find it
show examples
 easier to
aviod
Correct your spelling
avoid
 and tell
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 the correct method to deal with the problem.
For example
: someone
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the new mode how to steal your credit card information from the phone. When you
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 the messages on your phone,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
you press the button which
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
 you to
insecurity
Correct article usage
the insecurity
show examples
 website. After filling
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 information
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
your credit card
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
show examples
 may be stolen by
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. Many people can
aviod
Correct your spelling
avoid
 the tape because of
Facebook
Add an article
the Facebook
a Facebook
show examples
post
Fix the agreement mistake
posts
show examples
,
therefore
 social networking sites already have
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
. Sharing
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 about how to be cheated by others
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 impact on
avioding
Correct your spelling
avoiding
 the
crinimals
Correct your spelling
criminals
. When someone
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task response
Ensure to establish a clear and comprehensive thesis statement in the introduction to outline your stance effectively.
coherence cohesion
Provide a more defined conclusion to summarize your main points and reaffirm your stance on the topic addressed.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetitive language and transitions; utilize varied and smooth transitions to maintain a logical flow of ideas.
task response
Incorporate a more structured approach to presenting and elaborating your ideas, ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
task response
Address minor grammatical and lexical errors to improve the readability and clarity of your essay.
task response
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the potential positive impacts of social networking sites, such as promoting skills and sharing experiences related to avoiding criminals.
task response
Relevant examples are provided to support the main points, which enhances the clarity and relevance of the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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