Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.  Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

It is thought by some that schools are the best
place
for kids to be taught and develop themselves,
while
others believe that the right
place
for
this
is at home. I will discuss the benefits
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
both cases and argue why I believe it is essential for
children
to attend
school
. On the one hand, some families opt to teach their
children
from home
instead
of taking them to
school
.
Furthermore
, they believe that technology is good enough to enable their youngsters to learn in an effective and
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
way from their houses.
In addition
, parents who have a hectic life,
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
it easier, as they do not have to take them to
school
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
For instance
, I remember that
due to
my parent's hectic life, it was sometimes hard for them to take me to
school
, having to miss many of the lessons.
On the other hand
, a great part of the population
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
that
children
should go to
school
, as it is the online way to develop relationships with their peers.
Moreover
, they believe that kids can develop better communication skills when attending
school
rather than studying from their houses. In my opinion schools are the best
place
to make friends and grow up with them. I would say that my closest friends
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
that I made at
school
.
To sum up
,
this
essay has described the benefits for
children
studying at home and at
school
. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
both aspects have their own benefits, I would say that attending
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
school
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
would probably be the best
place
for a kid to develop their skills and grow up.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

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task achievement
Your essay generally addresses the task well, but it would benefit from integrating more specific examples to support your points better. This will help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
To further enhance clarity, ensure that each paragraph focuses explicitly on a single main idea and is fully developed. This would improve the logical structure and cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for guiding the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You present a balanced discussion by considering both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
task achievement
The points made are relevant and cover the main advantages of both homeschooling and traditional schooling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
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