In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities ,so the population in the country side is decreasing Do you think it is a positive or a negative development
Rural
people
are moving to the town instead
of staying in the country side
. Correct your spelling
countryside
Due to
the decreasing number in population
, Add an article
the population
people
are consider
the pros and cons of it in Wrong verb form
considering
development
aspect. Indeed, Add an article
the development
Correct your spelling
it
is
is a positive Correct your spelling
it
development
and this
essay will be discussed
in positive side of the Wrong verb form
discuss
cities
Fix the agreement mistake
city
development
with you
Below will be discussed in
the Change preposition
apply
advantage
of the population Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
move
to cities and the good impact of it Wrong verb form
moving
in
Change preposition
on
development
.
Firstly
, concentrate
the population made it easier to Wrong verb form
concentrating
goven
the Correct your spelling
govern
people
in city
. When the Add an article
the city
people
were seperating
and living in rural Correct your spelling
separating
area
. It was hard to Fix the agreement mistake
areas
dilver
the information Correct your spelling
deliver
include
the Wrong verb form
including
changing
in policies. It was very expensive to post the Fix the agreement mistake
changes
informations
in the whole Change the wording
information
pieces of information
counties
because it was very big. Even it Replace the word
country
as
small as Hong Kong which was just a small Add a missing verb
is as
cities
. The same issue was happening too. So, the more Correct the article-noun agreement
city
concentrate
the citizens were, the easier the Replace the word
concentrated
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
movement
goven
the Correct your spelling
given
govern
people
.
Secondly
, decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
the
number of Change preposition
in the
people
in rural area
could Fix the agreement mistake
areas
let the
Verb problem
make it easier for
people
easier
to provide Correct word choice
apply
the
benefits services to the citizens. It was hard to let the Correct article usage
apply
peope
in rural Correct your spelling
people
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
to
enjoy Fix the infinitive
apply
same
service as Change the article
the same
people
in city
. It was because it was hard to hold the service building or company like Add an article
the city
hospital
in the Add an article
a hospital
the hospital
area
which couldn't ensure enough amount of costumers or patiences
Change the wording
patience
bits of patience
while
they were spent large of money to maintain the service.
As a result
, it is a positive development
.Submitted by asllchkied on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear position, but it could benefit from more specific examples and data to strengthen your argument. Aim to elaborate a bit more on your points to fully address the question.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow a logical order. Additionally, your essay would benefit from a clearer conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and reinforces your position.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence of the essay by refining the connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. This will make your essay more fluid and easier to follow.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question directly and provides a clear position regarding the positive development of rural-to-urban migration.
task achievement
You have included some relevant points about the ease of governance and the provision of services that are important aspects of urban development.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the challenges in Hong Kong, adds some context to your points, making your argument more relevant.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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