IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons #report
Two
 maps illustrate the differences between
Porth
Harbour
 in 2000 and
Porth
Harbour
 today and how
this
harbour
 has developed since 2000.           
Overall
, it can be clearly seen that there are many
changes
 between
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 pictures. The
Porth
Harbour
 today seems like a tourist attraction,
instead
 of being a simple
harbour
 like in 2000.           In detail, the most important thing
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 a
harbour
 is the dock,
while
 the
Porth
Harbour
 in 2000 had only one dock, the number of
dock
Change to a plural noun
docks
show examples
 in
this
harbour
 now
increases
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 to
two
 docks so that there are more places for ships.
Moreover
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a change in the places of private yachts and fishing boats, the yachts zone would be on the head of the fishing boats zone in 2000, but now it is under. Despite some
changes
, there are still some unchanged points and those points are: The
place
 of the public beach( on the top right of pictures), the
place
 of the lifeboat and the
place
 of passenger ferries( near the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of pictures).           
Finally
, there are some
changes
 in the mainland
along with
changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the sea. There were
two
 car parks and one showers and toilets
place
Wrong verb form
placed
show examples
  in
Porth
Harbour
 in 2000, but now there is an extra showers and toilets zone and that new one is placed between
two
 parking places. Looking at the bottom of maps, there are some
significantly
Change the adverb
significant
show examples
changes
 that can be noticed immediately. There is a
cafes
Fix the agreement mistake
cafe
show examples
 and
shops
Fix the agreement mistake
shop
show examples
 area on the left of
lifeboat
Correct your spelling
Lifeboat Place
show examples
place
 in
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
harbour
, and the disused castle in 2000 is now replaced by a hotel and the road is extended,
tourists
Correct word choice
so tourists
show examples
 can go straight to the hotel.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to organize your details more logically to enhance the flow of your essay. Separating changes on the sea from changes on the mainland would improve clarity.
Task Response
You can improve your essay by providing more specific comparisons when mentioning changes. For instance, describe what 'under' and 'on the head of' mean regarding the positioning of yachts and boats.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid redundancy in your writing and ensure each sentence adds new information.
Task Response
You've appropriately noted key changes like the addition of docks, relocation of yacht and fishing boat zones, and the transformation of the disused castle into a hotel.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for your report.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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