IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.

#plans #show #harbour #summarise #information #features #comparisons #report
The plans below show a
harbour
 in 2000 and how it looks today : The pictures illustrate how Porth
Harbour
 has changed since 2000.
Overall
, the
harbour
 has undergone a number of significant changes, the most important of which are the expansion of the pier and the addition of
menities
Correct your spelling
amenities
 catering for recreational needs.
However
, the
harbour
 still maintains its core maritime functions in order to balance between tourism and trade.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the west side of the port, no changes have been made to the main
road
 and car park since 2000.
However
, a new
road
 has been erected which directly links the main
road
 to the car park in the south-western part of the area. Meanwhile,
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
showers and toilets
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been constructed to serve the increasing demand of tourists and local dwellers, which was accompanied by the swapping between marina and fishing boat berths. Focusing on the northwestern side of the map, the public beach has remained unchanged,
while
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 additional pier has been built adjacent to the old one, ensuring that there will be enough space for ships. In the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the port, there used to be a bare space, but it was
then
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used to establish a café and shops. To the south-eastern of the cafeteria, near the
life boat
Correct your spelling
lifeboat
show examples
 station, a pathway has been erected and connected to
road
Add an article
the road
show examples
, providing access to the
hotel
 in the south-east of the
harbour
. It is noticeable that the
abondoned
Correct your spelling
abandoned
 castle has been converted into a
hotel
, serving the need for
accomadation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
 of tourists or even local people,
while
 the public beach to the south-west of the
hotel
 has been privatized, exclusively used by
hotel
 guests.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task response
Your response provides a comprehensive summary of the changes in Porth Harbour over the years. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Revisions for grammar and sentence structure can help make your writing clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. At times, however, the sentences seem a bit disjointed. Try to ensure smoother transitions between points.
task response
You did a good job of identifying and summarizing the major changes in Porth Harbour from 2000 to today.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, making it easy for the reader to follow.
task response
Good use of detailed and specific examples to support your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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