IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

The best way to solve the world‘s environmental problem is to increase the price of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world‘s #price #fuel
Some
people
 believe that it is the best way
increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
show examples
 the
cost
 of
fuel
 to solve the environmental problem of the world. I completely agree with
this
 viewpoint because if the
fuel
cost
 increases,
people
 will use less
fuel
 and will come forward to use more environment-friendly options. If the
fuel
cost
 increases,
people
 will try to minimize their usage of
fuel
.
Fuel
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 higher in every country of the world,
therefore
,
people
 will not be able to afford
fuel
 anymore.
Therefore
, they are trying to find other alternative options
such
 as electric cars and many more.
For example
, in Australia, the general public is becoming more interested in electric cars because of the high
fuel
 costs. Increasing
fuel
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 can initiate the campaign of environmental safety.
People
 will become more inclined to save
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
People
 will come forward and take part in the campaign.
Moreover
,
people
 who are interested in saving
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 can be more particular about decreasing the use of
fuel
. In conclusion, the government should control the
fuel
cost
 to save
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task response
To improve, make sure to address counterarguments and mention any limitations related to the solution proposed.
task response
Provide a more detailed introduction that includes an overview of the essay's structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are fully developed and logically connected.
coherence cohesion
Consider using linking words and phrases to improve paragraph transitions.
coherence cohesion
Expand the conclusion to summarize main points and reiterate their significance.
task response
Use more specific examples and data to support your arguments.
task response
Be varied and precise in your language to improve clarity and impact.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion.
supported main points
You have presented a relevant example about Australia, which supports your main point.
clear comprehensive ideas
The central argument is made clear and is understandable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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