In some countries, students live at their home with a family while they study at university, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do the advantages of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

In some places, learners live with their parents during their studies,
while
in other countries students go to university in another city. Living far away from home can develop self-dependence in students.
On the other hand
, youngsters might not be ready
for spending
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to spend
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their money mindfully.
This
essay will discuss both
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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and disadvantages of being
further
away from home
while
studying.
To begin
with, settling in away from family will require a sense of responsibility for your expenses. Some people who have never lived on their own will spend their money mindlessly on hanging out with their friends and on eating local food in cafes, and after that, they won’t be able to afford simple living expenses until the end of the month.
For example
, a survey in Hong Kong International University’s dorm showed that 32% of students there said that they spend all of their money given for a month in two weeks. On the other side, young people will know how to live independently. They will not stay with their families forever anyway, so it is better for them to learn to reside on their own and develop their sense of responsibility.
For instance
, research made by BBC
news
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News
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showcased that youngsters who have experienced
life
away from their hometown are more likely to adapt to adulthood responsibilities. In conclusion, living
far-off
Correct your spelling
far off
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from your home
while
learning can teach youngsters how to be in charge of their own
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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, meanwhile, it
also
comes with the drawback of financial illiteracy. In my opinion, it is better to let your kids prepare for adult
life
rather than
keeping
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keep
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them with you until the rest of their
life
.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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Elaborate on your ideas further to make them clearer and more comprehensive.
task achievement
The essay covers both advantages and disadvantages of living away from home during university, addressing the task fully.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, framing the essay well.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters independence
  • self-reliance
  • essential life skills
  • cultural backgrounds
  • academic performance
  • resilience
  • adaptability
  • financially burdensome
  • homesickness
  • emotional stress
  • mental health
  • familial support
  • isolation and loneliness
  • stable and supportive environment
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