The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, many
workers
think that they are willing to have long dreamful
weekends
. Some
people
argue that working weeks should be shorter and
people
need to have a longer
weekend
. From my perspective,
workers
should have longer
weekends
There are 3 reasons why
people
take a rest in the longer
weekend
. First of all, longer
weekends
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
people
improve their workflow and their relationships
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
workers
and their families. If the working
hours
longer
Add a missing verb
are longer
show examples
than
weekend
Add an article
a weekend
the weekend
show examples
, it enables
workers
to feel severely stressed and decline their workflow. And it
also
affects the relationships among
workers
and their families.
Due to
long working
hours
, the relationship among
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
and their families can't build
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
strong bond and it can
makes
Change the verb form
make
show examples
their children anxious. The second reason is that long
weekends
can make
workers
' mental and physical condition healthy. If
people
longer
Add a missing verb
have longer
show examples
weekends
,
people
can erase their working stress and take care of their physical status. Because of resting,
people
can think positively to work efficiently. The
last
one is that it enables
people
aren't
Correct pronoun usage
who aren't
show examples
willing to leave their companies. If
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
there are intensive working
hours
and indeed short
weekends
,
people
want to leave their companies.
On the contrary
, if there are longer
weekends
salesmen can take a rest in the companies, they prefer to work at these because their rights to have
rests
Fix the agreement mistake
rest
show examples
are
guaranted
Correct your spelling
guaranteed
.
Thus
, having longer
weekends
is
better
Add an article
a better
the better
show examples
way for lots of
labours
Correct your spelling
labourers
show examples
rather than longer working
hours
. The short working week and longer
weekend
Fix the agreement mistake
weekends
show examples
enables
Change the verb form
enable
show examples
people
to be motivated to work
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and improve their workflow efficiently.
Submitted by lizehua041210 on

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task response
In the introduction, clearly state whether you agree or disagree with the topic statement and briefly mention the main points you will discuss in the essay. This will provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that there are logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will help improve overall coherence and cohesion.
task response
Develop the main points with specific examples and evidence. This will make your argument more compelling and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay to avoid minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will enhance the readability and coherence of the essay.
task response
You have provided three clear reasons to support your argument. This shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the essay, including an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is well-organized.
task response
The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear stance on the issue, which is essential for a persuasive argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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