It is generally believed that some people are born with certains talents, for instance for sport or music, and other are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

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As
a
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with a
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lot of things in life, luck plays an
essantial
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essential
roll
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role
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,
for
instance
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instance,
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some
childrens
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children
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appears
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to have a kind of
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talent, but
other
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others
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don't,
However
, there is actually a reason for that variance along them. One of the factors that
affects
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us, and our talents, might be the environment that we
life
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in, or the wealth and social level of our families !
,
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which can directly change the way we spend our time
through out
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throughout
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the day, because of that some people get the chance to try new activities but others don't,
furthermore
, they may become able to get better care, which will make earning a talent easier.
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introduction
Your essay lacks a clear introduction that sets the stage for the topic and thesis. Begin with a general statement about the belief that some children are born with innate talents, then introduce the competing view that any child can be taught to excel in sports or music.
conclusion
Concluding your essay with a summary of your main points and your own opinion will give closure and strengthen your argument. Right now, the essay ends abruptly with no clear conclusion that ties all points together.
content
Your argument lacks depth and specificity. Try to provide concrete examples or studies that support both viewpoints. This will make your points more compelling.
grammar
The essay shows frequent grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing, such as 'luck plays an essantial roll' and 'some childrens appears.' These errors make the essay difficult to read and understand.
structure
You’ve shown an understanding of the basic structure of an argumentative essay by presenting two views.
content
You've identified environmental factors such as social level and wealth, which are relevant points for the discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • innate talent
  • prodigy
  • genetics
  • nurturing environment
  • structured training
  • exposure
  • dedicated practice
  • aptitude
  • rigorous training
  • mindset
  • motivation
  • perseverance
  • growth mindset theory
  • natural inclination
  • excellence
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