IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email -Give detail of the purchase -Desribe the problem -Explain why you need a replacement urgently.

#purchase #company #email #-give #detail #-desribe #-explain #replacement
Dear Sir/ Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to inform you about my online purchase from your website, which
are
Change the verb form
is
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 not as great as I thought. I have ordered a dress with matching jewellery
,
Correct word choice
and, handbag
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handbag
Correct article usage
a handbag
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 as well. Let me explain in detail, the
color
Change the spelling
colour
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 of
dress
Add an article
the dress
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 is not as represented in the picture,
also
 the size is too big for me.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
, the jewellery is great with quality and everything,
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the handbag has some zipper damage,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 made me feel so bad. I want you to consider my problem and make prompt replacement of dress
as well as
 handbag. I have to leave for my
brothers
Change to a genitive case
brother's
brothers'
show examples
 wedding next week, so
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 really urgent for me. Thank you
Submitted by prtkaur773 on

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task achievement
Include specific details such as order number, purchase date, and product IDs to make your letter more precise.
task achievement
Consider revising for small grammatical mistakes and rephrasing for clarity. For instance: 'which are not as great as I thought' could be 'which did not meet my expectations'.
coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words like 'Furthermore', 'However', etc., to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Good organization in terms of separating the explanation of the problem and the request for action.
suitable writing tone
Clear and polite tone maintained throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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