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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The chart below gives information about the price of tickets on one airline between Sydney and Melbourne, Australia, over a two-week period in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #price #tickets #airline #sydney #melbourne #australia #period #summarise #features #comparisons
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The data in the given bar chart illustrates the
price
 of
airline
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
 in two
week
Change to a plural noun
weeks
show examples
 in 2013, where the aircraft from
Sydney
 to
Melbourne
 and
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
.
To begin
 with, with regards
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Change the article
the
show examples
first
week
 the
airline
price
 from
Sydney
 to
Melbourne
 was 80
dollars
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
monday
Change the capitalization
Monday
show examples
;
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the aircraft cost was 30
dollars
 less from
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
. Moving forward next three days of the
week
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 nearly
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 range of
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 between 30 to 40
dollars
 from
both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
.
Conversely
,
Last
Correct article usage
the Last
show examples
 three days of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
week
 1
refelects
Correct your spelling
reflects
 the high
price
 and the maximum
price
 was 80
dollars
 on
friday
Change the capitalization
Friday
show examples
 from
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
. In view of
week
 2, the
price
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 with 50
dollars
 from
Sydney
 to
Melbourne
 and 40
dollars
 from
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
. After Monday from
both
 cities
airline
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 start going down
Change preposition
in Betweenthe
show examples
Betweenthe
Correct your spelling
The
 range of 30 to 40
dollars
 till
thursday
Change the capitalization
Thursday
show examples
.
Lastly
, the
price
 again
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 climbing on the weekends from
both
 areas of aircraft;
whereas
 the maximum
proce
Correct your spelling
price
 was on
friday
Change the capitalization
Friday
show examples
 almost 75
dollars
 from
Sydney
 to
Melbourne
 and 60
dollars
 from
Melbourne
 to
Sydney
.
Overall
, it is noticeable
easy
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
airline
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 are much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher on the weekends
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 the weekdays except Mondays
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
both
 two 2 weeks.
Submitted by taniamall786 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, airline, week, sydney, melbourne, dollars, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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