Many retired people today are choosing to live in other countries. What are the advantages or disadvantages of this?
In some countries,
the
retired Correct article usage
apply
people
tend to choose to live outside from
their original country. Obviously, they have their own reasons why they want to live like Change preposition
of
this
. Certainly, there are the merits and drawbacks of this
decision. The merit is they spend their retirement season in a peaceful place and the drawback is they possibly live far away from their whole family.
To begin
with, retired people
want to live in a country that can guarantee safety and comfort. For example
, in Finland, the government have a program to take care all
of the old Change preposition
of all
people
, include
the retired ones. Wrong verb form
including
At there
, retired Change preposition
There
people
have a chance to still productive
even though they are not Add a missing verb
be productive
work
in the office or workplace anymore. Wrong verb form
working
Furthermore
, there is
a Verb problem
apply
place
like residence and Fix the agreement mistake
places
retire
Replace the word
retirement
people
can unlock new skills, such
as knitting, cooking, gardening, and many else. Not only that, but also
the police will be standby
24/7 to help older and Change preposition
on standby
retire
Wrong verb form
retired
people
. So, it may be a good reason to leave and move to better places.
On the other hand
, retire
Change the form of the verb
retired
people
will leave their loved ones, like family and friends. For instance
, my friend's grandmother
decided to leave to
South Korea after she retired and her husband passed away. For around 7 years, she Change preposition
for
can
not meet her Wrong verb form
could
grandmother
and only communicate by
video calls. She said that she Change preposition
via
is
really Unnecessary verb
apply
miss
her Correct subject-verb agreement
misses
grandmother
. Sometimes, it is a hard moment when she know
that her Change the verb form
knows
grandmother
got sick because she could not go there to visit. Thus
, moving to other countries after retire it
Wrong verb form
retirement
is not always be
a good option.
Change the verb form
is not always
To sum up
, there are a lot of retired people
who choose to live in other countries. On one
hand, they can live in a safe and Correct article usage
the one
comfort
country, but they must leave their big family. Personally, I suggest Replace the word
comfortable
people
to
think twice before they leave after retirement has come.Remove the particle
apply
Submitted by wishmeluck on
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task achievement
Expand on specific examples to add depth to your argument. For instance, provide more details on how the Finnish government's program helps retired people find new skills.
coherence cohesion
Consider adding more linking words and phrases to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. This can increase your coherence and cohesion score.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in understanding your essay's main points.
task achievement
The essay presents both advantages and disadvantages of retired people living abroad, showing a balanced view and achieving task response.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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