Some people think that children should not be given toys as they distract them in their studies, whereas others believe that toys always help them in their education. discuss both views and give your own opinion
Children
are in their developing stage where education is essential for making a brighter future but, letting the children
to
have Change the verb form
apply
toys
can distract them in their studies
. On the other hand
, some believes
that Change the verb form
believe
toys
plays
a vital role in their learning process. In my Change the verb form
play
opinion
letting kids Add a comma
opinion,
to
have fun with Change the verb form
apply
toys
is an important aspects
for Change the noun form
aspect
a
educational Correct article usage
apply
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
as well as
for their mental development, but under a
supervision Correct article usage
the
by
their parents or elders.
On Change preposition
of
a
negative Correct article usage
the
side
Add a comma
side,
children
with so many toys
can be a distraction to their studies
as they are not aware of time management neither
have Correct word choice
or
a
Correct article usage
apply
concern
Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
on
their Change preposition
about
studies
. Furtherrmore
, in an uncontrolled condition, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
children
can play with toys
for
day and night Change preposition
apply
withoud
focusing on their Correct your spelling
without
studies
such
as completing their assign
homework, leading to Replace the word
assigned
backward
in Correct article usage
a backward
the
Change the word
their
studies
. For instance
, my nephew can play with his car for whole days if his parents were not with him to supervised
, forgetting to do all his Change the form of the verb
supervise
homeworks
.
Correct your spelling
homework
In contrast
, toys
can not only bring so many
fresh learning in Correct quantifier usage
much
term
of Fix the agreement mistake
terms
educational
but Replace the word
education
also
self development
Add a hyphen
self-development
such
as responsibilities and belongings. when they are exposed to various kinds of toys
, they tend to learn more new things about the toys
rather than teaching theory in the class. For example
, when i
was small Change the capitalization
I
kids
my father bought Fix the agreement mistake
kid
be
different types of Correct your spelling
me
car
as Fix the agreement mistake
cars
i
was Change the capitalization
I
huge
fan of car Add an article
a huge
toys
which resulted me in knowing all the names and their version
of cars. Fix the agreement mistake
versions
This
helps me to grow interest
in driving making it so much easier to obtain driving license Correct article usage
an interest
in
Change preposition
at
the
very early age. Correct article usage
a
Moreover
, toys
bring sense
of Add an article
a sense
responsibilty
Correct your spelling
responsibility
in
kids as they have to take care of their loved ones Change preposition
to
for
Correct word choice
so
them
to play for Correct pronoun usage
they
extended
Correct article usage
an extended
peiod
of time.
Correct your spelling
periods
period
To conclude
, the
Correct article usage
apply
toys
can be a distraction to the
small Correct article usage
apply
children
in their studies
but, it
can Correct pronoun usage
they
also
make a huge difference in their personal learning and development if they are under the supervision of their parents.Submitted by ugyenyangzom42 on
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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the contrasting views and your own stance. This helps set a clear direction for the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make an effort to separate your ideas into paragraphs more clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos, such as 'Furtherrmore' and 'withoud.' These minor mistakes can affect readability.
coherence cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to improve the flow and connection between your points. This will help in achieving a better logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific details and examples to support your main points. This strengthens your arguments and makes your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Ensure you use a varied sentence structure and vocabulary to articulate your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear understanding of the topic and outlines the two perspectives well.
task achievement
You include relevant examples to support your arguments, making your points more relatable and comprehensible.
coherence cohesion
There is a conclusion that summarizes your argument and restates your view, giving a sense of closure to the essay.