Some parents give their children everything that their children ask for or allow them to do whatever they want to do. Is this good for children? What could be consequences for these children when they grow up?

In
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
days,
children
often are
recieving
Correct your spelling
receiving
a high
level
of
freedom
from their
parents
who believe that
this
is beneficial, providing the authority to do anything they wish.
However
, some families are opposing
such
a method of raising
children
, with many consequences undermined.
This
paper will evaluate different ideas and facts, and provide suggestions on how
parents
should raise their
children
.
Firstly
, having a high
level
of
freedom
enables
children
to learn first-hand living experiences.
A research
Correct article usage
Research
show examples
conducted by the University of Cambridge stated that if
parents
imposing
Wrong verb form
impose
show examples
a low
level
of control over their
children
, it is more favourable for the
children
becoming
Change the verb form
to become
show examples
independent as they turn
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
. Rather than giving all the solutions and advice, I believe that it is better for the
children
themselves to explore the world and earn their own experiences.
Secondly
, lowering unnecessary concerns and expectations over
children
nourish
parents
' mental health. Every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
unique with different strengths, and shortcomings, by supporting their
children
to pursue their interests and future plans, the potential hassle and worries by
parents
over their
children
can be reduced as less stress and expectations driven by culture and social norms are imposed.
While
there were many benefits for
parents
with more
freedom
provided to their kids, some opinions are raising alerts that
children
would be more exposed to negative influences especially those distributed through social media.
However
, setting up full control
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
and
ban from
Wrong verb form
banning
show examples
all harmful aspects in their lives are not just unrealistic, but
also
hindering
Wrong verb form
hinder
show examples
their ability to face these challenges independently in the future.
Instead
,
parents
should allow opportunities to their
children
for trial and error, maintaining a sensitive
level
of monitoring and
guidiances
Correct your spelling
guidance
guidances
on the other hand
. All in all,
children
are all individuals with free wills and will eventually become independent adults,
thus
parents
should provide the
freedom
for them
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
their own choices as they are growing up.
Although
there are some consequences to
children
's development, these risks can be mitigated by
parents
' close
guidiance
Correct your spelling
guidance
and awareness.
Submitted by 788seal on

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task achievement
Work on developing a clearer and more developed argument. Some points are briefly mentioned but not fully explained.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and robust.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the stage for the arguments and summarizing them effectively.
task achievement
The ideas presented address the task prompt adequately, covering both the potential benefits and risks of giving children too much freedom.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure of the essay is logical, with distinct paragraphs for different points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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