Some parents believe that their children should do extra-curricular activities after school. Others say in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#parents #children #activities #school #pressure

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Although

it is often

though

Correct your spelling

thought

show examples

that

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

ought to do extra-curricular

activities

after

school

. Other people consider that In

this

way children are under pressure. In my opinion, I

cosider

Correct your spelling

consider

that curricular

activities

after

school

will help them to improve their skills. On the one hand, some parents think that

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

who do some extra-curricular

activities

after

school

will be better for them, and I agree. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

other words, when

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

do some

activities

such

as swimming, football or some other

activities

that will be quite good for them and

also

they will be busy with electronic games and replace them with

activities

that benefit them.

For example

, If

student

Change the verb form

does

show examples

activities

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

after

school

they will improve their skills ;

moreover

, it will be extremely good for

thier

Correct your spelling

their

health.

As a result

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

will benefit from curricular

activities

On the other hand

, topic is considered by some that it is better when

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

come back

Change preposition

apply

show examples

home after

school

because some

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

show examples

prefer to focus only on their academic subjects.

For instance

, when

student

finish

Change the verb form

finishes

show examples

school

they want to do their homework assignment;

however

, if they do

activties

Correct your spelling

activities

after

school

they will do their homework assignment after they

finsh

Correct your spelling

finish

the

activiteis

Correct your spelling

activities

and they will sleep late ;

farthermore

Correct your spelling

furthermore

, they should be allowed to choose their own extra

activities

as they want ;

in addition

, they depend on themselves to choose what is right for them.

Hence

, they will not be under pressure.

To sum up

while

people may vary in their

opoinions

Correct your spelling

opinions

opinion

, I believe that children have the freedom to choose what they want.

Submitted by s_syedy on Thu Sep 26 2024

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improvement

Make sure to proofread your essay to correct small inaccuracies and improve clarity.

improvement

Try to fully develop each point with more detailed explanations and examples.

improvement

Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence.

improvement

Use a variety of sentence structures to enhance readability and keep the reader engaged.

highlight

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion.

highlight

You provided both views on the topic, which fulfills the basic task requirements.

highlight

The essay includes some relevant points and examples.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Some parents believe that their children should do extra-curricular activities after school. Others say in this way children are under pressure. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think it’s better to choose friend s who always have the same opinions as them. Other people believe it’s good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?