IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time.

#people #children #school #waste #time
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People have different views about
necessity
Add an article
the necessity
show examples
 of schooling. To a certain
extent
Add a comma
extent,
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 I agree that education
quality
Use synonyms
 in
school
Use synonyms
 might be low, but some courses taught in
school
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 are essential to
students
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. People who distrust schooling might be interested
in
Linking Words
particular
Add an article
a particular
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 field,
such
Linking Words
 as art, physics,
cooking
Correct word choice
or cooking
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 that
students
Use synonyms
 can’t easily learn in common
school
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. They can feel several subjects are not related to their career, and their low interest
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
classes
Use synonyms
 In Korea,
there’s
Wrong verb form
there are
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 a lot of
high
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
quality
Use synonyms
 internet lectures filmed by famous star
lecturer
Fix the agreement mistake
lecturers
show examples
, and their online
classes
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 are highly demanded by many
students
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. Without
limitation
Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
show examples
 on place and time,
students
Use synonyms
 are able to study through online
classes
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 easily but in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 high
Use synonyms
quality
Add a comma
quality,
show examples
 they want.
To
Change preposition
As
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of widespread online education, a lot of
students
Use synonyms
 can be dissatisfied with restricted
classes
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 in
school
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.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of online
classes
Use synonyms
 might be better, schooling means a lot to student growth.
While
Linking Words
 online
classes
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 teach us particular
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 only, in
school
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, we can
also
Linking Words
 get various social skills. In adolescent periods, many
students
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 are learning how to socialize with other people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and build their own identity. They have to face different
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and handle their feelings every time even
it
Correct word choice
if it
show examples
 is troublesome.
These kind
Change the determiner
This kind
These kinds
show examples
 of education can be only held in offline
classes
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, and they can improve their social skills through trial and error to be
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
competent members of society. In conclusion, some aspects of schooling can make some
students
Use synonyms
 feel useless, but schooling is still needed
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by susie0104 on

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task achievement
Focus on providing more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will help strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it flows logically from one point to the next. This will improve overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on your sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Inaccuracies in grammar can sometimes obscure the meaning of your ideas.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address different viewpoints on the topic, which shows an understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, giving the essay a complete framework.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • comprehensive education
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • social skills
  • well-rounded education
  • outdated curriculum
  • technological advancements
  • job market needs
  • subject relevance
  • career paths
  • diverse skill set
  • knowledge base
What to do next:
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