Some people believe that teenagers should focus on all school subjects. But others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject that they are good at or that they find the most interest. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

A number of people believe the attention of children must be on all subjects, others contend that youngsters should focus on the subjects which are excellent or they feel the most preferred. Both viewpoints are valid, but I prefer towards former. On the one hand, the global has advanced in all aspects so students should learn many other knowledge to respond
quality
Change preposition
to quality
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of useful knowledge for life. It is very crucial for everyone because
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task achievement
Expand your ideas to provide a complete response to the topic. You have introduced the two viewpoints but should develop each side further and provide a clear conclusion.
task achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains a clear main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. Your essay's main points need more detail and elaboration.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You started with an introduction but didn't follow through with a structured argument.
coherence cohesion
Use clear and coherent sentences that logically flow from one idea to the next. Work on connecting your ideas better within paragraphs and between paragraphs.
task achievement
You have touched on a relevant topic and introduced both viewpoints, which shows a good understanding of the task.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Comprehensive education
  • Specialization
  • Well-rounded
  • Motivation
  • Foundational knowledge
  • Significant contributions
  • Narrow focus
  • Limited perspective
  • Adaptability
  • Economic benefits
  • Balanced approach
  • Foundational education
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