Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?
There is an argument that yearly outer
space
research
is not useful and is a waste of money
. Conversely
, many citizens insist that the budget will be more beneficial to increasing the life quality of humans on Earth
. I personally agree with the latter statement due to
its impact on larger communities, and I will elaborate the
reasons more through Change preposition
on the
this
essay.
Firstly
, research
on the outer space
world is not directly impactful to most people. As these studies are still abstract for common citizens and usually aim to find out future things potentials, there is no direct effect on humans on the earth
. For example
, NASA is researching the potential risk of sun explosion which is predicted to be
happen a decade later. Unnecessary verb
apply
This
study expends a large amount of money
without any direct impact on people nowadays. Thus
, it seems that this
research
might be pending and there is no rush to complete it immediately.
Secondly
, the budget spent for a
Remove the article
apply
space
research
can be utilized for the development of many facilities in
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
Earth
. A journal showed that NASA needs more than $3,000,000 for every space
travel and this
huge amount of money
could build numerous public facilities in countryside
, or it could be used to increase workers' Correct article usage
the countryside
salary
in isolated places. Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
For instance
, in Indonesia, teachers salary is only around $800 per a year. We can imagine that the huge expenditure on space
travels
would be enough for more than 1,000 teachers in Indonesia and it surely will be more impactful to them rather than just spending the Fix the agreement mistake
travel
money
on a
Remove the article
space travel
a space journey
a space trip
space
travel.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that millions of dollars spent on space
studies every year will be more beneficial to improving life
quality in the Correct your spelling
the
earth
in terms of increasing facilities and employee wages in many isolated areas around the world.Submitted by chocolate10
on
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task achievement
While the essay presents a clear opinion and addresses the prompt, it needs to provide a more balanced argumentation. Including counterarguments and refuting them would enhance the depth of discussion.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the connection between points and paragraphs; some transitions feel abrupt. Use transition words and phrases to maintain a smooth flow of ideas.
task achievement
Offer more detailed and specific examples to support your points, and explain how they directly relate to your argument. This will add more credibility and depth to your stance.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which enhances readability.
task achievement
You address the question directly and express a clear line of argument, showing your stance on the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical progression of ideas, making it easy to follow your reasoning.