SOme people think That parents should teach children how to be good memebers of society. Others believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
Some
citizens
believe that parents
have the responsibility to teach their kids
how to be good members of society
. While
others believe that schools
are the perfect place to learn this
. While
some people believe that schools
need to teach children
how to be good member
of Fix the agreement mistake
members
society
, I believe that parents
should teach their kids
how to be a
good Correct article usage
apply
citizen
in Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
society
because parents
spend more time with them at home, and they need to pass values and customs.
Some people believe that schools
need to teach children
how to be good citizen
of Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
society
because this
is the perfect environment to help them, so the school needs to form good citizens
for this
world. On top of this
, the school has teachers who have higher education, so for them is much easier to help kids
, and this
is part of teaching. If schools
have many rules, this
might help them to be better citizens
. For instance
, in China, kids
are taught by tutor
at school, and they teach them how to be great Fix the agreement mistake
tutors
citizens
in society
until they reach twelve years old. However
, I strongly believe that schools
are for academic purpose
only, and Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
parents
need to teach their children
at home.
Other people might say that parents
need to guide their children
because they spend more time at home and might have variety
of Add an article
a variety
situation
to teach them. Fix the agreement mistake
situations
Also
, if parents
show great attitudes and become a role model
for their Fix the agreement mistake
models
children
, this
will impact them to become great citizens
in this
society
. This
is not just telling them what to do but showing them to do the right thing. More importantly, parents
need to pass values and cultures to their children
so they can feel proud of who they are into
Change preposition
in
this
world. For instance
, many kids
who live on
the United States might feel lost if their Change preposition
in
parents
do not teach them who they are and why they need to embrace their roots and know better their parent's culture. I strongly believe this
scenario is best to teach kids
how to become great citizens
in society
.
In conclusion, parents
need to teach their kids
how to behave in society
and teach them how to be great citizens
by knowing their culture and embrace
who they are, Wrong verb form
embracing
however
, schools
have great tutors to teach them to get a license to find a suitable job.Submitted by cuevas14dic on
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task achievement
Try to develop each main point with more depth and clarity. For example, you can elaborate more on how parents spend more time with their children and provide specific examples beyond cultural values.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the organizational structure of your essay. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next and that all ideas are linked logically.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, providing a good framework for the discussion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints and offers a balanced discussion, followed by a personal opinion.
task achievement
The examples provided, particularly the one about Chinese education and cultural values in the United States, enhance the essay's arguments.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite