Some people think government should spent money on languages that are dying and a few number of people uses them, some think this is a waste of resources. Discuss both views and tell what's your take on this issue.
Some people argued about spending
of
the government money on Change preposition
apply
languages
that are dying. While
some of them think it is waste
Correct article usage
a waste
for
funds, I believe Change preposition
of
that is
more important to keep money for providing
Change preposition
to provide
better
environment for nations Add an article
a better
instead
.
On the one hand, some of them believe that the implementation of the
government expenditure on rare Correct article usage
apply
languages
is crucial
way to preserve the diversity of Add an article
a crucial
languages
and the culture of countries. For example
, a recent study shown
Wrong verb form
shows
the
China has different Correct your spelling
that
languages
among villages and cities. While
I believe there is no need for these diversities.
On the other hand
, advantages
of inserting Correct article usage
the advantages
of
these expenditures in improving Change preposition
apply
the
health and Correct article usage
apply
contribute
to Wrong verb form
contributing
Correct article usage
the developing
developing
of the country Replace the word
development
is outweigh
the Change the verb form
outweigh
spend
of these funds on Replace the word
spending
languages
. This
is because English
language Change the article
the English
is become
more popular among residents and the Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
beneficial
of Replace the word
benefits
keep
Change the verb form
keeping
money
for living standards Add an article
the money
are
more Correct subject-verb agreement
is
benefit
. Replace the word
beneficial
For instance
, it has been shown the United States is one of Add an article
the advance
advance
countries and they Replace the word
advanced
spoke by
one language. I believe that we should Wrong verb form
speak
make
Verb problem
apply
a
consider Correct article usage
apply
for
people’s Change preposition
apply
live
essentials rather than wasting Replace the word
life
it
.
In conclusion, spending a lot of expenditure on rare Correct pronoun usage
them
languages
for preserving
Change preposition
to preserve
of
the Change preposition
apply
diversities
and the Replace the word
diversity
cultural
of these cities Replace the word
culture
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
is make
a logic for most nations. Change the verb form
makes
While most
people these days tend to use only two Correct word choice
Most
language
and there are different aspects of our lives Change to a plural noun
languages
need
Correct pronoun usage
that need
considering
. I recommended the government should make a survey and see if the Replace the word
consideration
beneficial
will overcome the disadvantages or not.Replace the word
benefits
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task response
You have addressed the task and presented both views mentioned in the prompt. However, the response could be more complete by expanding on your arguments with clearer and more detailed reasoning.
task response
Some ideas are not fully developed or are repeated. For instance, the discussion about the importance of preserving linguistic diversity could have been expanded with more specific examples and clearer explanations.
coherence and cohesion
There are some lapses in coherence. Sentence structure and flow could be improved to ensure smooth reading and clearer communication of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which is good, but they could be more connected to the main points in the body paragraphs. Try to ensure that your arguments are well-linked throughout the essay.
task response
The essay needs more concrete examples to support the main points. Including specific instances or case studies would make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task response
You have made an effort to address both views as required by the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
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