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Band 2

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages
It is believed that
music
 can connect people on a deeper level
dispite
Correct your spelling
despite
 of
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 age groups and traditions. I can't agree more with
this
 notion as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music
 is the most
poweful
Correct your spelling
powerful
mean
Fix the agreement mistake
means
show examples
 to bring people together.
Music
, like other shapes of art, can be understood and enjoyed by everyone with any language or culture.
Music
 is beyond
human
Correct article usage
the human
show examples
 race or our linguistic and cultural differences, as it touches the deepest part of our hearts. If we look at the videos from different musical events, it can be seen that the population simply smile
while
 their faces are filled with joy, looking at each other. It has a simple meaning: they are building meaningful
bond
Fix the agreement mistake
bonds
show examples
 through
music
.
Moreover
, some
compusers
Correct your spelling
composers
computers
 integrate melodies with their personal experience, which may be the same as others in the world. genres can attract new audiences from different countries, helping them
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 to know each other and
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
show examples
 their own lifestyle.
Submitted by ava.saljoughi on

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introduction conclusion present
Include a clear conclusion to summarize your points.
logical structure
Improve the structure by dividing the essay into clear paragraphs with one main idea each.
complete response
Revise grammatical and spelling errors, such as 'thier,' 'poweful,' and 'compusers.'
relevant specific examples
Provide more relevant specific examples to support your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have a clear stance on the topic, and you express your agreement effectively.
supported main points
You emphasize the universal appeal of music and how it transcends cultural and linguistic barriers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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